If the bible and the church has too much authority in your life, then the god of this equation is false. Some would say they are all false.
Why did you give a book and an organization so much control over your life? Why are you afraid to say no to them? Why are you scared of your own spiritual independence?
I would suggest that only when you are free from the blinding authority of the bible and the church will any clarity come as to what “god” means.