how to send someone to Hell

Here’s exactly how you tell someone they’re going to Hell without actually telling them they’re going to Hell.

1. Describe goats. 
2. Explain how, biblically, goats have bad history.
3. Goats go to the left.
4. Those remaining on the right go to Heaven.
5. Those on the left go to Hell.

Now, if those on the left complain that you are telling them they’re going to Hell, you just tell them that, no, they happen to be on the left, and those on the left happen to be going to Hell. Don’t take it personally. I didn’t make the rules. And it’s your fault that you find yourself on the left. This is just procedure. Sorry.

That way you don’t have to take personal responsibility for personally telling someone they are going to Hell.

Like Pilate, your hands are clean!