Strike the Match

The meetings often begin the same way.  There’s a passing of the matches — small, wooden, and making a familiar rustle within the tiny cardboard box.  The person lucky enough to end up with the little box slides it open, picks up the match, and from there, the events continue to unfold predictably.  They’ll mumble.  They’ll fuss.  They’ll insist they’re no good at this.  The first strike is unsuccessful and met with a derisive laugh.  Often the second strike works to their own bewilderment!

The candle comes next and is met with more mumbling, sometimes cursing at the wick.  When the flame is finally kindled, there stands the flame of our faith, built and burning on a bedrock of mumbling, cursing, and a weird lack of confidence that befalls so many match-bearers.

As a Unitarian Universalist, most of our gatherings begin with the kindling of a simple chalice flame.  Ministers and lay leaders often like to do this to center the gathered community and to signal that we are entering sacred time and embarking on the work of our faith.  The intent is so lovely and simple:  Kindle a flame that we may know that the holy is before us.  But more often than not, in my experience, there is the all too familiar doubting of one’s ability to…strike a match?

I try to imagine why this is a problem.  Does it feel too “liturgical” for some folks?  Is the intent not shared amongst the gathered people?  Are Unitarian Universalists not used to or, perhaps, oversaturated with the symbol of their faith?  I know that some of these are true for a few but I think the doubting, the cursing, and the complication of something so simple is due in part to our “intent” not being enough.  All the intentions in the world are empty without our full and embodied participation with and through and in them.

As someone that often finds myself present to the journeys of those seeking out Pagan paths within Unitarian Universalism, our discussions often turn to ritual.  How do I begin?  How do I know where to start?  What is going to happen?

The “how” and “what” of rituals are important questions that are worth digging deeper into, not just for Pagans but for anyone that finds themselves experiencing the limitless and the uttermost.  But also within these questions is the all too common theme of doubting oneself loudly.  I am not good at this!  I don’t know what to do!  This [insert failure here] always happens to me!

Religion and ritual can be intimidating experiences, even if it is just striking a match.  In the various paths of Paganism, it can feel like a daunting journey of self- and communal discovery when faced with all that makes up the wide umbrella of earth-centered traditions.  But starting simply and engaging with our full selves demands awareness.  I’m reminded of the well-known story by Thich Nhat Hanh about how to wash the dishes.  He writes, “While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes.”  Our approach to the religious should yearn for such focus.

Strike the match.  Gather the heart.  Kindle the flame.  Really do it — make it the only moment that is possible where failure means striking it again, striking it for real and as if for the only and first time.  A match, a willing heart, and the hope of a flame is all one needs to begin, whether it is a prayer, an invocation, a meditation, a thanksgiving, a vigil.  Start simply with your whole self.  The only goal is the discovery of some new and precious moment in your spiritual life.

Our approach to moments that center our minds and open our hearts need not be rooted in fear.  If we bring our full selves to the moment, we may discover a path before us we did not expect.  We may find that moment of pause we were longing for or the balm that is needed for ourselves or for the world.  To all of you out there wondering if you’re doing “enough” or having no idea where to begin, remember the basics:  Match.  Heart.  Candle.  Flame.  Kindle within yourselves a longing for the ineffable and do it as if it is the only thing that matters.  From there you will, hopefully, gain the wisdom you are seeking and know where to go from there.

Right now, across our country, there are matches being struck, flames being kindled, and candles being passed from heart to heart, from seeking soul to stranger, friend, and beloved.  They are gathering in churches, in public squares, and wherever the good and right has called people to hold vigil, in remembrance and in grief, for the lives lost in Orlando on June 12th, 2016.  Sometimes the only thing we can do is light a candle — really light it.  Light it with all of our tears, our frustrations, our joys, our wonderings, worries, and yes, our fumbles as well.  Sometimes it is what we need to light the way forward in whatever has befallen us.  May these flames burn brightly in your hearts, dear friends, and may you find the hope that you need.  Blessed Be.