I thought long and hard about this and whether or not I wanted to share my poem. This explains a lot about my early years. It peers into how I came to be where I am today. However, it is only a small glance into my life. 

Approximately two weeks ago during the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Montclair, N.J.,  Board’s retreat we were given an assignment. We had to fill in the blanks in “Where I am From,” based on the poem by George Ella Lyon. This is what I came up with in the short 15 minutes of time we were given.

Where I am From

I am from backyard gardens.

From gagootz (long Sicilian squash) and basil.

I am from the old, large side porch.

It creaked when you walked but you could sit outside; watch the rain fall and not get wet.

I am from the tall Oak tree in the backyard;

The begonias, bright red and white growing large in the front lawn.

From my parents and grandparents and uncles.

I’m from the crazy and irrational,

From the “sit still and be quiet” generation.

I’m from the marinara sauce, and pots and pans.

I’m from Manhattan and Italians.

Raviolis and stuffed calamari.

My dad hid a woolen hat in the neighbor’s mailbox that he should have worn.

I am from my nanny making meatballs for dinner.

In the family room closet there are a few albums of family photos.

I’m from a small town where the Oak trees provide shade and protect from the blinding sunlight.

I was from the Catholics, although it never seemed to fit.

I’m now aware that I am from the UUs and Druids.

This explains some about my family and how I grew up. However, it mostly mentions the good times. While most of that poem shows fond memories, it does not really tell anything about my childhood. As a child, I had a vivid imagination, something that was discouraged heavily.  I am still working on regaining it. 

While other girls my age wanted to play house, all I wanted to do was pretend I was Lion-O. ThunderCats was one of my favorite cartoons to watch on television. Back then most kids watched the afterschool line up, I am sure. Now my niece also has a vivid imagination and I pretend with her. She loves Paw Patrol, so when we take the recycling bucket out front she pretends they are following her. 

Why do I work so hard on my imagination?  Because if you cannot visualize the end result, its going to be difficult to get a spell to work. You need to forget the words “cannot” or “can’t” exist.  Scrub them from your mind. My elders, the Rev. Foxxy (Sher) Pullen and her late husband Hermotimus “Herm” have drilled this into me. Now, if I hear someone talking negatively, especially of themself, I correct them and I explain why.  If you say it and aren’t able to stop it, at least add the word “yet.” This is an important tool and one that has helped me tremendously.  There are things now that I do that I always assumed I was incapable of doing. A few include writing this blog, leading two groups; the AV Tech Team and a member of the Board.

My elder has and still does guide me with everything in my journey. She is always there with advice for my home life, to work, to dating and all relationships. A best friend, second mom to me. If I had a choice, she would be part of that poem. 

I included the line about UUs and Druids, it made more sense to me to add that to the previous line. This is who I am now, who I was then, I just was not aware. I was always drawn to crystals and stones. I had a love of nature even as a child. 

Moreover, it is funny that my subconscious knew who I was before I did. I wonder how many more in my family are Pagan at heart. I barely know most of my extended family. At least on my mom’s side I know who my cousins are, for the most part. On my dad’s side, I met a few in school and my work in town. However, I really don’t know any of them.

Our past has a significant impact on the people we become. Nevertheless, some things we valued as children get pushed aside as we age, and take on responsibilities. They may return once we discover our path. Other things have to be examined, weighed for value and fit. They may be modified to fit the “new” me, but some may have to be discarded, or unlearned.  That’s why this is a journey, not a microwave type change.

See also: My Pagan path – a look back into when I started my journey

And My story – discovering UU, starting a CUUPs chapter & leadership