The Search for Self-Worth: Beyond Likes and Sacrifices

Audio podcast: Finding Your True North audio podcast

Video podcast: Finding Your True North video podcast.

Summary

I admire new generations for sticking up for their values. But implementing those values, which are actually similar to most peoples’, isn’t without controversy. It puts them in the precarious position of standing alone against the prevailing winds of public hate and ambivalence. It’s a lonely place. It shakes their confidence in themselves.

The church can sometimes create confusion regarding individual identity and worth. Certain teachings emphasize aligning with evangelism, public service, or other duties, often at the expense of personal values, talents, and interests.

Reference Verse:

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds.” – Matthew 16:26

If you aren’t true to yourself, you’re losing your soul.

We can’t go against our own conscience. In the face of passages like this, we worry about our condition, our worthiness, and whether our sacrifices are sufficient. We question if we can escape scrutiny and if we meet external standards. Doing so indicates an external locus of judgment and identity. It also indicates we really don’t understand the Bible.

An external sense of identity and judgment, leads us to constantly assess ourselves based on others’ perceptions and how we measure up to the expectations set by institutions or authority figures. This external focus can leave us feeling inadequate and constantly seeking others’ approval.

Grappling with these issues can lead to a profound lack of self-worth, by constantly measuring ourselves against external standards and seeking validation from others. This constant external pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a pervasive fear of failure.

Social media, with its false sense of reality and constant comparisons, intensifies this issue. New generations are bombarded with idealized images and narratives, leading them to question their own authenticity and worth. This external locus of judgment can be a heavy burden, hindering genuine self-expression and personal growth.

It’s impossible to meet everyone’s expectations or achieve their ideal standards of perfection.

The reference verse is one of those places in the Bible that we really need to understand who Jesus was talking to and how it applies to us, if at all.

How does Jesus look at us?

Jesus accepts us just as we are. He never asked anyone to judge themselves. He simply asks us to follow him.

Jesus showed very little interest in the approval of the institutions and leaders of the day. His interest was the condition of our souls.

There is a major difference in looking at our behavior and asking if it can be better or if we need to be doing more for others, or judging ourselves. Judgment implies condemnation, guilt, and shame.

Jesus asked people to look at their own behavior and try to improve.

Was Jesus talking to us or to others?

Jesus was talking to people who had dedicated themselves to starting a movement. We have to decide whether we are one of those people, or are we other people.

To help us decide who we are in Jesus’ eyes:

Jesus initiated a new movement that demanded significant sacrifice from its followers. Early Christians faced persecution and martyrdom for their beliefs. Despite these challenges, the early church grew rapidly, spreading the Gospel through the efforts of dedicated missionaries.

Today, the mission continues.

Rather than missionaries, many are examples to others. Many Christians focus on their personal lives, families, and careers. Their faith should guide them to serve others and demonstrate God’s love through their actions.

This can involve contributing to their communities, utilizing their talents for good, and building meaningful relationships. Ultimately, the goal is to live a life that reflects the values of Jesus and makes a positive impact on the world.

The choices between being missionaries and examples are very different. We each have a valid choice.

End Summary

In depth on this subject after this blurb about church planning

Church planning season – strong impact course

How can churches minister to new generations if they won’t come to church? The church has been losing people at 1% a year, and now most of new generations won’t come.

I developed and presented a course on understanding and working with new generations. I would like to say I had rave reviews, but on a scale of 1 to 5 it averaged 4.5. Well, some people were raving.

The course helps people understand new generations, their values, and their differences. It helps people understand how to build a bridge to them and minister to them. The old worn-out things we used to do don’t work, and for good reason. This solutions focused course enables people to find new ways, appropriate ways, to minister to these generations in their local circumstances. It’s for church groups and generates deep discussion. </p>

Free video preview of the course

Course on Udemy: Understanding and Working with New Generations

In Depth coverage of Matthew 16:26 and identity

Matthew 16:26 in contextual perspective

What was this passage actually about and to whom does it apply? Jesus was starting a new religion. It took special people who were willing to set aside their own interests and welfare for the greater good of all. Almost all of them would be persecuted for their faith and die for it.

Jesus talked to his apostles and disciples about his impending death, and of the coming of the Kingdom of God they would soon individually see here and now. It was a very difficult task he gave them. He metaphorically spoke of them picking up the dreaded cross of crucifixion he would soon bear. For some it was literal. Their lives, should they choose to accept Jesus’ mission, might be forfeited at any time.

Today we have some missionaries who take the Good News of Forgiveness and eternal life to others. They are special people who sacrifice a lot. The church was fully established within 300 years of Jesus birth. The Gospel is being brought to all nations through television, print, other media, and personal witness, just as Jesus asked.

The rest of us carry on with our lives, marrying, raising children, providing for our families, and being contributors to our community and church, and using our God given interests talents. Through these things we demonstrate the love of God to others. (Or we become selfish and use them for only ourselves.)

What value is our soul?

Judas was a traitor to Jesus and exchanged his soul for thirty pieces of silver. For their part, the apostles scattered in fear of the Romans after Jesus was seized. The Apostle Peter, who had vowed to never deny Jesus, when confronted, denied knowing Jesus three times (Matthew 26:69-75).

Jesus spoke metaphorically in this passage about the hardships (the cross) that can come with being his follower, especially for those called to missions as the apostles and disciples were. In exchange they and we receive the Kingdom of Heaven, which is here and now, and in due time will be appropriately compensated for their behavior.

“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul with a body.” – CS Lewis

What is our soul worth?

We have to ask ourselves if we settle for the mirages in life, such as fame, money, power, or do we go for the gold standard, love.

Are we willing to give things up for others (Jesus), or do we expect Jesus give to us and keep on giving? Not money, but maybe the ability to make money by having improved relationships and better business values. Jesus said he came to give us abundant life. Both should be true, giving things up for others, and receiving and abundant life. Sometimes they are synonymous.

Internal and external locus of identity

If our locus of identity and judgment is external, we will never give enough. Everything about us is for the taking by others. The world’s needs are endless. Even local needs are endless.

Giving what we can give is not always sacrifice. It’s very difficult to understand an essential mechanism in our universe. When we invest in others through our skills, talents, and possessions, it not only enriches our lives, it makes the world more prosperous. We share in that prosperity. This works in economics as well.

If our locus of identity and judgment is internal, we are the recipients of love, and we are people who love others.

The end of penal substitution (sacrifice for sin)

The Bible of the Hebrews (Old Testament) is about sacrifice. It’s about being penalized for sins of omission and commission. In other words, we did something we shouldn’t, or we didn’t do something we should have. Zap!

Jesus put an end to sacrifice for sin. He became the sacrifice. The Temple where sacrifice occurred was going away. Even the prophets of early Israel recognized the problem with a system of religion that grants forgiveness in the Temple, then people go and sin all the more.

Jesus set this straight. All people needed to do was directly ask God for forgiveness. The external is not our judge. We have the Spirit of God within us so we know what is wrong, and understand when we have fallen short of the spirit of love.

Our salvation doesn’t come from an institution. It comes from following Jesus and becoming like Him. God loves us and forgives us.

Should we judge ourselves?

The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 11, tells us we should be introspective and see our own shortcomings. “But a man must examine himself ….” “if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged.” Those who ask forgiveness are forgiven and not judged. There is no negative judgment for those who follow Jesus. Not ever. They are forgiven.

“The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being.” – Socrates

What would have happened if Jesus had come to each person declaring their wrongdoings? Their focus would have become what they had done wrong. People who focus on guilt have that as their guiding light. In their evaluation of themselves, they are wrongdoers, and as Paul often acknowledged it condemns people and tears them down. Focusing on the negative is counterproductive.

Jesus didn’t ask people to judge themselves. He asked them to focus on love. Introspection, yes. Judgment, no. Living in the Kingdom of God, which is here and now, he asked them to focus on the positive. Love displaces hate and poor treatment of your fellow man. It’s a process, and it works. It certainly works better than focusing on the negative.

The quest for true fulfillment

New generations hold authentic people and genuine spiritual experience as very high values. Without them they leave. They understand that a fulfilling life doesn’t exist around disingenuous words and fake people.

True fulfillment comes from within, and is reflected out. Jesus, recognizing the inherent worth of each individual, emphasized the importance of inner peace and a focus on purpose beyond external validation. He challenged his followers to prioritize their spiritual well-being over societal expectations, a message that resonates deeply with today’s new generations.

Just as Jesus faced opposition from the religious leaders of his time, young people today may encounter resistance when they challenge the status quo and pursue their own unique paths. This can involve personal sacrifices, but ultimately leads to a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

The parable of the talents reminds us that God has entrusted each of us with unique gifts and abilities. By cultivating these talents, we not only find personal fulfillment but also contribute to the betterment of society.

Ultimately, true happiness and fulfillment come from within. By cultivating inner peace, embracing our authentic selves, and focusing on meaningful connections with others, we can break free from the shackles of external validation and live a life of purpose and joy.

Be blessed

In the corner of the room where I write sits a guitar. I love music. I like to play it. I would love to compose.

My guitar lives a lonely life. Sometimes I pick it up, tune it, then clumsily strum a few chords. That’s as far as I get. The demands of life are always present, and there is always something more important to write. It’s a little sacrifice I make for something more important.

We’re not unimportant to God. The word used for “blessed” in the Bible most often means happy. God endowed each of us with talents we can develop. God gave us the path of love to help others, bringing us much improved relationships, even with our enemies.

From the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14–30), we can safely assume God want us to use our talents and skills, even invest them in our and others’ future. Well, maybe not my guitar–I’ve sworn to “do no harm.” But talents and skills can be developed.

This song by Roberta Flack could have been about Jesus: Killing Me Softly With His Song.

Conclusion

Jesus ended sacrifice for wrongdoing. Forgiveness is for the asking. Our wrongs are not meant to drag us down forever.

Yet we get caught up in this idea that we must sacrifice endlessly for Jesus. He didn’t ask us to judge ourselves – we know when we’ve done wrong, and self-reflection helps us understand. He didn’t ask for continuous sacrifice. He didn’t ask us to focus on our wrongdoings, but to be forgiven and forget them. Love transforms us from people who place our own wants above others needs to those who help others.

To get the party started, Jesus sent his apostles and some disciples into great sacrifice and danger. They were missionaries to foreign lands bringing a message that some would find offensive and some treasonous. They would make huge sacrifices.

We, on the other hand, are ambassadors for Jesus for happiness (blessings). We show love to others. Our sacrifices are usually trivial in comparison.

 

Building a Community of Action

New Way Forward community

Can we make positive change in our world and end a lot of suffering?

Helen Keller, who was both blind and deaf, said: “Although the world is full of suffering, it’s also full of the overcoming of it.”

The human spirit yearns for a world without suffering, but it’s through facing challenges that we progress. The world isn’t perfect, but together we can create a future with less hardship. Famine, discrimination, gun violence, and injurious economic and educational disparities are complex problems, yet understanding their root causes empowers us to find solutions.

Launching in first quarter 2025, the New Way Forward community will connect individuals seeking practical solutions and creating lasting change. We’ll focus on understanding problems and their solutions, and how to effectively create change.

Join us in building a brighter tomorrow! New Way Forward on Facebook.

Probability Space

What probability spaces can we open in our minds to stop beating ourselves up, appreciate the good that Jesus brings to our lives, and do a better job of loving others ?

Potential Space

If you think creatively and allow your mind to wander and explore, can we help others understand they can quit beating themselves up and live more abundant lives?

 

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. This helps me improve my work.
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If you made it this far, you’re a reader! Image two lawyers asking restaurant patrons for help writing their suicide notes, in this comedy. Intrigued? Please consider my novel, Death for Christmas: Be kind or it may kill you, on Amazon and Draft2Digital.

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My friend, David Ketcherside, former Christian broadcaster, has written a book series that I gave feedback on. It’s for men, written from his experience, thoughtful analysis, and heart. Gen A, Z, and X (Millennials) would find it very helpful. It’s available in print, on Kindle, and as an audiobook on Audible. Check out The Whole Dude. His description: “My hope is to remind readers what being whole looks like, and help them recognize the distortions that stop us from feeling totally awesome all the time.” He’s also excellent at marketing if you have marketing needs.

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–           Dorian

Our answer is God. God’s answer is us. Together we make the world better.

Restore and recreate. Take time to celebrate life. Laugh, sing, and dance regularly, even every day. Happy. This is why we dance to celebrate life: Reindeer actually running and dancing.

Civic service opportunities

Do Unto Others Kindness Campaign, and civic engagement.

UCC service opportunities.

PC USA programs and services.

United Methodist Church Volunteer Opportunities.

Join or support Zero Hour and amplify the voices of youth organizing for climate action.

Peoples Hub. Resistance, Resilience, Restoration, Re-imagination. Online Popular Education. For movement workers to learn, connect, collaborate, and strategize – in and across the disability justice and solidarity economy movements.

Stakeholder Capitalism – a video podcast series from the World Economic Forum. Can capitalism be made to work for all of us – and to improve rather than destroy the state of the planet?

 

General service and aid opportunities (on One Spirit Resources Website). To add your service opportunity to the One Spirit Resources list, contact the author (me) through Facebook Messenger. Note that I only friend people I know.

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Education Opportunities for new generations

Becoming an Entrepreneur – MITx online

Evaluating Social Programs – MITx online

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Bible scripture verses are New American Standard Version (NASB), unless noted.

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Author and books

Appease the Volcano: What does God require from people? The voices of the ancients from many religions echo much of the same things: It starts with law, then mercy and forgiveness, then love. Love is a major emphasis in all major religions and replaces law.

The Prophetic Pattern: Ancient and Modern Prophecy: How to distinguish the intent of various types of prophecies and oracles, both ancient and modern.

Preparing For the Future Of Work and Education: Analysis of the kinds of jobs that AI and Robotics will displace, and the educational requirements for them. AI will replace or augment thirty percent of jobs. This is an in-depth analysis citing many authoritative sources.

Author Website: Dorian Scott Cole