Marriage: The First Decade (part 1)

To all the cheesy Christian music fans out there, my blog title is a reference to one of my favorite CD’s growing up: Michael W. Smith’s “The First Decade” compilation album. With hits such as “Friends are Friends Forever” and “Place in This World,” how could you go wrong?

This past summer my wife and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. Now usually, husbands are supposed to take their wives on a nice vacation to celebrate. I took it up a notch. I gave my wife a baby. Your move, gentlemen.

While I know that ten years is not long in the scope of a human life, a marriage that’s lasted ten years (at my age) is becoming rarer and rarer. So, let me reflect (this week and next week) on ten years and share ten things I’ve learned after ten years of marriage:

1. I’m amazed at how I much I can still get wrong. I’m still waiting to for the day when I quit sticking my foot in my mouth, when I quit being selfish, and quit getting myself into trouble. Some days it’s like I’m still making rookie mistakes and focusing on what benefits me more than the marriage.

2. My wife’s been married to three different people. They just all happen to have my name. As a human I’m continually changing and evolving (hopefully for the better, but not always). As I’ve changed, my wife’s had to adjust to a living with a new person. Sorry about that, honey. I guess that’s why marriage always takes work.

3. You know how people always say that couples fight about money? Well, they’re right. In a world where over a billion people live on less than a dollar a day, we’re incredibly blessed financially. And yet there’s never enough money to buy all the toys that are out there. Our “wants” list always seems larger than our checking account. So we have to choose. We have to prioritize. We have to negotiate and compromise. Money’s a punk sometimes.

4. It’s incredible how many things compete with our marriage. We live in society numerous competitors that can distract us away from what’s important. What’s hard is that these competitors are good things. Marriage would be a piece of cake if kids, career, hobbies, money and leisure time would quit getting in the way. They’re all good things, but they can ultimately distract me from the greatest thing, which is my marriage.

5. Romance is now spontaneous and scheduled. When we first got married, life was simple. We had all the time in the world. But then we started our careers. And had kids. And now, romance and dating is still spontaneous, but it’s also scheduled. We put date nights on the calendar (which seems like the least romantic thing to do). But we do it because it’s a priority. In our hectic lives, spontaneous on it’s own doesn’t work anymore. If we schedule doctor’s appointments because they’re important, why not date nights?

QUESTION: What are truths you’ve learned about marriage?