Why We Gave Our Boys Huge Posters of Themselves for Christmas

I’ll admit, it’s an odd gift. This past Christmas my wife and I gave our oldest two boys huge posters of themselves to hang on their wall. No, we’re not trying to feed their narcissistic self-centeredness. Culture will help them try and do that whether we want it to happen or not. Our intention is incredibly strategic: words matter. Words spoken over time give someone a sense of direction. (For instance, tell a young girl she’s fat every day for a decade and tell another one she’s beautiful every day for a decade. Which one will grow up with a better sense of self-esteem?)

What my wife and I did was determine seven words that describe the best of who my boys are. Besides “athletic,” which they both got, every word is different. We were intentional to frame each characteristic as positively as possible. Our oldest son Zeke is incredibly competitive. We chose the word “driven.” Our second son Shepherd can be very stubborn at times. We chose the word “self-reliant.” We picked seven words, put them on a huge poster of themselves, and hung it on their wall.

And here’s the experiment: we’ll let our boys see words that describe the best potential of who they are, every single day for a over a decade, and see how it shapes their character. It may have not effect and all, but then I’m only out twenty bucks for a poster. I suspect that over time seeing these words placed on top of themselves will reinforce the best versions of who they can become. So when they both become world famous for curing cancer or something, I’ll be able to point back to the posters. Until then, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Here are the seven words we chose for our oldest son Zeke:

Creative – Zeke is incredibly creative. He likes to draw and make movies for his Youtube channel. We want to encourage that.

Passionate – This is a nice way to say competitive. We love his fire and never want to extinguish it.

Athletic – If it were up to Zeke he would be playing all sports all the time. We love his passion for athletics.

People-focused – Zeke does not know how to play by himself. He always wants to be around other people. He’s the definition of extrovert.

Driven – This is a nice way to say perfectionist. He doesn’t want to just do something, he wants to be the best.

Hard-working – This is a word we future-casted for Zeke to try and shape his work ethic. With his competitive and perfectionist personality, hard work is going to be crucial for his future success.

Intelligent – This kid is smart. He grasps concepts easily. School is a breeze for him.

Here are the seven words we chose for our second son Shepherd:

Happy – That’s just who Shepherd is. He’s happy. He laughs constantly. He smiles all the time.

Self-reliant – This is a nice way to say that he can be stubborn. He wants to do everything on his own. That can be a very good thing.

Loved by others – This is a neutral way to say that Shepherd is super popular. In every class he’s been in, we hear from other parents all the time how their kids love Shepherd and how they come home with their kids talking about Shepherd constantly. The kid’s a people magnet.

Defender – If someone is hurt, Shepherd is the first one to rush over and see if they’re okay. He’s a first responder.

Caring – Shepherd genuinely cares for other people (well, most other people. Don’t ask his little brother Lincoln). He has a sense of caring not natural in most kids I’ve seen.

Athletic – I keep telling Zeke that he’s going to have to push himself in athletics merely to keep ahead of his little brother Shepherd. Shepherd is a stud, the best natural athlete in the family.

Gentle spirit – Shepherd is tender. He’s content to play by himself or with others. He’s always been easy-going. Gentle spirit captures a bit of his essence.

If you have kids still in the house, why not try this with them? Words matter. Leverage the power of words for good in your child’s life.