Make You Look Like a HomoGenderal

REEDSBURG, Wis. (AP) – An elementary-school event in which kids were encouraged to dress as members of the opposite gender drew the ire of a Christian radio group, whose angry broadcast prompted outraged calls to the district office.

Students at Pineview Elementary in Reedsburg had been dressing in costume all last week as part of an annual school tradition called Wacky Week. On Friday, students were encouraged to dress either as senior citizens or as members of the opposite sex.

First of all, I was unaware that males and females dressed any differently these days. Secondly, how does one dress as the opposite gender? (Is that le dress or la tee shirt?)

A local resident informed the Voice of Christian Youth America on Friday. The Milwaukee-based radio network responded by interrupting its morning programming for a special broadcast that aired on nine radio stations throughout Wisconsin. The broadcast criticized the dress-up day and accused the district of promoting alternative lifestyles.

Ah, yes. It all started when Tom wore a dress for Wacky Week …

Then he started collecting Village People memorabilia, listening to Elton John, growing a mustache, and renting Rock Hudson movies …

Oh wait! Sorry. Come to think of it, Tom actually dressed as a Senior Citizen.

The dress-up day was not an attempt to promote cross-dressing, homosexuality or alternative gender roles, district administrator Tom Benson said.

“The promotion of transgenderism – that was not our purpose,” Benson told the Baraboo News Republic. “Our purpose was to have a Wacky Week, mixing in a bit of silliness with our reading, writing and arithmetic.”

Transgenderism? But, but. I thought that was all the rage — what, with boys and girls all dressing the same these days. Jeans and tees. What are they wearing in Wisconsin?

The theme for Friday’s dress-up day came from students, Hayes said.

“It’s different every year. They basically present the ideas, and they vote on what they would like from Monday through Friday,” Hayes said. “… They did not mean anything by this day. They were trying to have fun and come up with a fun dress-up day.”

Fun?

Face it. It’s so hard to come up with anything both Wacky and unoffensive these days. Okay, I’ve got it!

Next year during Wacky Week the students can dress as different types of Christians:

MONDAY: Church of God.
Girls can tease and pile hair high (just not like Amy Winehouse). Boys can wear short ties and polyester sport jackets; toothpicks a plus.

TUESDAY: Menonites.
Girls can dress like girls, boys like boys.

WEDNESDAY: Episcopalians.
Doh! You see how hard this is?!

Here’s the whole news story.