I Did Not Sleep with that [Canaanite] Woman

It all started when Earl “Constantinos” Smith walked into my office and said, “Father, I got troubles, can we talk?”

I said, “Sure, Earl, have a seat. What’s buggin’ ya?”

He said, “Father, I’m havin’ trouble sleepin’ these says … and when I do sleep, I dream the most confusing dreams. Why, the other night I dreamed I was a teepee.”

A teepee?

“You heard right, Abouna. I dreamed I was a teepee. Not only that, the following night I dreamt I was a wigwam.”

A wig-wam?

Yep. One night I dreamed I was a teepee, the next thing ya know I’m a wigwam … and …”

Earl?

“Yes, Father?”

I believe you’re too tense.

Ha! Get it? You’re two tents!

Heh heh!

Earl looked all confused for a second; he squinted his eyes and studied me.

When …

Y’all, let me tell ya … ol’ Earl ain’t got much of a sense of humour. That big ol’ boy bounded right outta that chair, lifted me up against the wall and said, “Listen here preacher man, I ain’t scared o’ you, I been to jail. Why, I oughta knock some silliness outta that noggin’ a yours!”

Then, he started calling me “Honey” …

Honey?!

He said, “Honey …

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“The Lockhorns” by Bill and Bunny Hoest – Source