A long time ago, in a parish far, far away…. It is a period of church war. Ortho-Nerds, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the Nominal Ecclesiarch. During the struggle, Ortho-Nerd spies managed to steal secret plans to the Ecclesiarch’s ultimate weapon, the Death Pew,a padded seating bench with enough width to destroy thirty standing positions. Pursued by the Ecclesiarch’s aging Archons, Catechumen Leila texts home aboard her iPhone 5C, the stolen plans that can... Read more