To Beat Depression, Honor Your Victories

At the moment when I felt like I made it, I realized there are four facits of my life that could be called magical, not just my path as a Pagan. First I guess I should clarify what I mean when I say I felt like I made it. My personal blog, the Crimson Crescent at www.feministelemental.wordpress.com was promoted by fellow SOA contributor Nornoriel, for which I am very thankful. This occured after I wrote my most recent post.

http://feministelemental.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/progressive-dialog-for-community-leaders-concerning-abuse/
In the same day I found my first contributor for the Crimson Crescent, and simultaniously found another writing opportunity with the Cross Quarterly, an inter-faith webzine. I have an anthology in the works with Tara, as well as some fictional work, though it is kind of on the back burner.
I was walking around, listening to Shauna Carol’s “Blessed Be” when I realized I was feeling the same high from writing that awesome post as I felt after one of my big ceremonial rituals. (I will post a couple on my personal blog next week.)

Writing:
Perhaps the pen (or in this case) is as powerfully magical as the dagger. It’s funny. After a lot of heavy spellwork I get really energetic, and occasionally get aches and pains in odd places, as well as a sensation like i need to burp, probably energy overload. It was the same thing. And there is an enormous satisfaction when a post reaches people, and starts conversation, the same as when a spell works out the way I meant it to.

Music:
This is something I touched on in an earlier post. Metal is cathardic, Pagn spiritual comforting. It just struck me. I get the same rush from a good metal show as I do from a ritual. Lyrics sung and lyrics chanted are equally as powerful.

Creative work:
Whether I am using sailor’s knots to make a hemp bracelet, putting beads on wire for a bracelet, shaping a clay bowl, there is this sublime joy in creating something. The other day I took a piece of cardboard that was just lying on a bookshelf, painted it black, and decorated it with black satin ribbon. I glued an old picture of myself in the center. It was meant to symbolize how far I have come, and my friend said it looked Gothic, and the ribbon shown and made the picture look like shattered glass. I’ve been shattered and had to rebuild myself these last few years. And it strikes me as I write this that this is what the Goddess does. The paintbrush and the wand are equally as creative.

Magic:
I love being a witch. It is such a sacred part of myself, this ability to manipulate energies and cause changes. It has given me a sense of pride in myself. Now I know all four of these things are inter-connected, and make me valuable. My darkness, my light, all are positive.

This may have seemed like kind of an off-hand post. I wrote it thinking of the song “Savagge Daughter,” and how it encourages us to be free, and how it makes me want to be proud of what I have done. So I do appologize if it seems that I am bragging. It is just nice to feel that my efforts, the things I care about, are worth something. I also recognize that the depression that often threatens to take over is without foundation. I feel a little more empowered to deal with it.

Composed and performed by Wyndreth Berginsdottir