IN PERSON
Many Pagan circles, groves, and covens are invitation only, and that’s not always a bad thing. It’s far easier to work magick when the coven is a family instead of a group of strangers. I’m currently a part of two different covens and our rites are limited to members and initiates. But this article isn’t really about those kind of groups, it’s about things advertised as “open” or “for the public.” I’m a part of one of those groups too, and I think it’s important to be involved in a greater Pagan community beyond the magickal circle.
Does it sometimes come with a few more headaches? You bet! But, open circles are invaluable gateways into Paganism, and it’s how many of us serve our communities. I owe a great deal to the brave individuals who ran open gatherings and circles when I was first getting my feet wet twenty years ago. I wouldn’t be here today without those folks and the opportunities they provided.
Providing a neutral, safe, public Pagan space is challenging. When everyone is invited it’s likely that we are going to get everybody, and I’ve seen more than my share of homophobes and other kinds of assholes at public events, but generally most folks are nice. But first-timers are often more likely to remember the creepers instead of the 95% of a group that’s great, so if you really want to create a welcoming group you’ve got to be proactive.
If you run an open group I think the most important thing you can do is try and talk to everybody who shows up at the ritual. Just a simple “hello” or “let me know if there’s anything I can do for you” goes a very long way. I’ve been that new guy who doesn’t know anybody at the edge of the circle that no one has said hello to, and it is awkward. It certainly didn’t make me want to come back!
Friendly is a great rule of thumb, but it’s also important not to over-reach. Being too friendly can also come across as awkward, desperate, or worse. Boundaries have to be respected, and some people just don’t like too much attention. It’s a difficult balancing act.
I’ll completely admit to just how tough it is to try and talk to everyone. I am naturally shy and talking to everyone at a ritual does not come easily for me. And some people are just not going to ever feel comfortable talking to strangers, and that’s OK. Community is something that can help us play to our individual strengths. Let the gregarious ones do the meeting and greeting and the quieter folks run what they feel comfortable running.
It’s important to be conscious of cliques, and while those can never be broken up (and perhaps shouldn’t be), you do want to remind everyone in an open group why they are there: to help build community and enjoy a great ritual or event. If it’s about “recruitment” or “finding students” people are there for the wrong reasons. No one wants to feel pressured into joining a group. Certainly community events should provide opportunities to become a part of a coven/circle/grove/whatever, but if the flyer reads “Lammas Ritual” then it’s probably best for the rite be a Lammas Ritual and not a recruitment exercise.
Open circles and events are not the ideal place to talk about local Pagan politics. We’re not all going to get along with one another, and that’s OK, but newcomers don’t need to be brought into Witch Wars against their will. If someone’s first exposure to the larger Pagan Community revolves around what’s wrong with the Pagan Community they aren’t going to want to stick around. Should we help steer newcomers away from predators? Certainly, but discussions on why Person X is a drama king and why so and so isn’t qualified to be a High Priestess can probably be saved for another day.
Paganism is more than just Wicca, and our greater community is stronger and more dynamic because of it. Wiccan-style ritual is hard to escape from in open circles, but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. The Pagan Community is multi-faceted and those many facets deserve to be celebrated and honored if at all possible. Some open-groups are built around specific traditions, but those that advertise themselves as simply “Pagan” may perhaps try and facilitate a diverse and rich Paganism.
Rituals and other events are never about the people facilitating them, they are about the people participating in them. When I’m at an open circle I can always tell the difference between a person running ritual for the right reasons and a person running something to satisfy their own ego. When I serve (that’s important word to emphasize!) as High Priest my job is to create the best ritual experience possible, it’s not to shine a spotlight on myself.
A welcoming community has space for people who want to get involved in both the ritual and bureaucratic side of things. That doesn’t mean a first-timer should lead this Fall’s Samhain Ritual, it just means keeping a door that allows for a lot of participation. Small things and small gestures really add up over time! And most groups need more people to get involved anyway.
We can build a better Pagan mousetrap and create a community, both online and in person, that people feel comfortable with and proud of!
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