A Proper Holiday

We’re going to Texas in August.
So we should probably plan to go to Moscow in January.

Although staying in Binghamton in January will be pretty much the same thing.

The children will be so whiny. They’re so northern and cold oriented. I, on the other hand, will be more relaxed than ever, when I can get out of the air conditioning for a few minutes.

My favorite moment of going to Mali is always stepping off the plane onto the tarmac and feeling the heat hit you like a wall, and then you know you’re home.

Flying into an American airport, however, I will be fully prepared and have several sweaters, because it will probably be super cold. But the children will be in shorts and tee-shirts because they are always complaining of being too hot, even in the snow.

But we plan to have a marvelous time.

So, here’s my question, should I be freaked out in advance that the TSA people will grope my children? Or should I just not worry about it? And what posture should I adopt when the toddler throws herself on the floor screaming? Should I act shocked? (“She NEVER does this?!) Or should I pretend I don’t see it? Or should I develop a short stand up routine? And, of course, I’m always looking for new, funny and fresh answers to “ARE THEY ALL YOURS?” and “Boy, you sure do have your hands full!”