Bill Nye Ruins Sex

Bill Nye Ruins Sex April 27, 2017

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[Angel weeping from sheer boredom.]

I confess, I did get sucked into watching that terribly weird song and dance on Bill Nye. I didn’t watch the whole program–going to Netflix and looking around and then clicking play is not something I am ever going to have time for, unless it’s The Office–just the clip which some strange soul took the time to watch enough to cut out and put on YouTube. Maybe we should crowd fund some therapy for that person.

Then I watched this short preachy video about cissexism, which is talked about with the breezy air of one who has whole hours of history behind the idea. Of course it wasn’t just invented a few minutes ago. If you haven’t heard of it yet it’s because you’re a Bad Person TM.

Both videos are mesmerizing in an End of the World kind of way. You wonder if you should be doing something else, but then decide, ‘Oh never mind. I might as well keep waiting for it to buffer. What else am I going to do? Rearrange the deck chairs? That seems futile. I might as well persist.’ Anyway, if you get through both of them, you can cleanse the palate with Alastair who is completely sane and will restore reason to her broken and dilapidated throne. His piece is long, but you’ll need All The Words to help you recover.

As for me, the thing that impresses me most is how boring this has all become. Bill Nye is still trying to be provocative and avant guard when those two characters months ago left the building. The song, the dancing–this is not interesting, or scintillating, or shocking, or anything. It’s just sort of Very Boring and Badly Executed.

So also the moralizing lecture on cis-bigotry. How is lecturing still a thing? Wasn’t that so two years ago? Why are you wagging your head at me about Tone and Civility? Those two ideas fled along with Provocation and Shock.

As for me, I’m going to self identify as One Depressed. Sex and sexual identity, for millennia, have driven humanity along as generation upon generation have run back and forth between virtue and vice, between good and evil. The shocking ankle, the too low cut evening dress, the flirting–there’s no place for that now. Instead a Young Person, in the most badly written song ever, preaches to the trapped audience about their ‘junk.’ Not only is it awful, it’s boring.

And no, it isn’t hypocritical of me to complain about other people’s Moralizing Tone. The whole point of Jesus is that you admit that you’re Not Good, and that you can’t be good even when you’re trying. Which is actually pretty applicable now that I think about it. Humanity struggles and strives to reach Optimal Sexual Freedom and the result is, well, Meh. Now would be a good time for the shocking and terrifying proposition of Repentance that leads to Eternal Life to dance in and shake things up.

Now, where are my fuzzy slippers. These deck chairs aren’t going to just rearrange themselves, I should go wander around YouTube waiting for someone else to do it.


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