In the midst of all the real news of the weekend, I came across this gem. The title reads (and this charms me so much) Influencer Rachel Hollis Is Facing Accusations She Is Plagiarizing On Her Instagram. Underneath is a nice little tweet that says, “Girl, tell the truth.” Spent a long time repeating the word ‘Influencer’ over to myself for the pure joy of it. I love how malleable and inventive human people are.
I mean, there you are, coffee in hand, comfy sweater, perfect makeup, shiplap on every wall, facing down the curious reality that you happen to be someone who knows how to make a lot of money just by being who you are. But what can you call yourself? You text a friend, you FaceTime with your team, you scroll three more times through dictionary.com passing by Plumber, Baker, Teacher, Mother, Electrician, Medical Biller, Counselor, Congress-Person, Cashier, Flight-Attendant, Professor. But nothing fits. ‘What is it, exactly, that I do,’ you wonder to yourself. And then it comes to you in a blinding moment. You Influence people into buying things and believing things. You are an Influencer. It’s like Thought Leader but with fewer thoughts.
But, also, you are so busy. The facebooking, the hair appointments, the speaking gigs, the tweeting and instagramming. So many things. You have your team of people, but some of them are tired and not putting forth their best effort. No matter how many times you remind them that we’ve gotta keep on top of all the socials, Have To, there is some poor lonely person stuck in the back of the open concept shared work community scrolling around on an ipad, tired to death and out of inspiration. But Influencing waits for no person. And also, the stuff you’re peddling isn’t that hard to understand, or different from what all the other leading influencers are influencing, and also…dare we admit it…not that deep. Will anyone notice if you take someone else’s fairly trite sentiment and just write ‘-Rachel Hollis’ at the bottom?
Well, apparently someone did. So I might have spent many minutes scrolling through all the quotes, and personally, I would think the people who did say them would be happy to have them off their hands. Here’s an awkwardly phrased sentence that I would never want anyone to think I had taken time to invent, “Every year you close a new chapter in your story. Please…don’t write the same one 75 times and call that a life.” What does that even mean? But the person who did say it is annoyed that Rachel Hollis changed the font and wrote ‘Rachel Hollis’ at the bottom.
My favorite is this one, “Don’t make yourself small so others feel more comfortable.” I love this because apparently Ms. Hollis self-identifies as a Christian. So she must be trying out some new brand of Christian Irony because this sweet little advice is absolutely contrary to everything ever said in any part of the Bible. Indeed, if you are looking for the essence of the gospel, take this precious meme and then do the exact opposite. Thinking about other people and making other people feel comfortable, especially at some personal cost, are things that Christians are definitely encouraged to do by Jesus—leading thought leader and influencer above all other influencers—himself. You remember Jesus? That guy who Made Himself Nothing so that you could not just be comfortable, but could escape the very uncomfortable fires of hell by means of the salvation he wrought painfully on the cross. Don’t make yourself small forsooth. Take yourself entirely out of the picture and concentrate all your energy on the Lord of Creation and as an outflow of that pour yourself out for others unto the very outer limits of who you are.
Honestly, I feel like getting in on the fun. I’m not very good at memes and technology and instagram and stuff, but I think real Christians need some fancy lettering to help them through the dark times. So, just take your favorite verse from the Bible, change the font, and write your name at the bottom. I’m pretty sure buzzfeed will never know. I’ll get us started.
O Lord, Please Send Someone Else
-Matt Kennedy
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.
– Anne Kennedy
Alas! Alas! You great city, you mighty city, Babylon! For in a single hour your judgment has come.
–Anne Kennedy
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