Two Things On Tuesday

Two Things On Tuesday February 25, 2020

The First Thing

I did it. I wrote a little letter complaining about the use of the word “gift” as the verb instead of the noun. Here it is.

Dear Audible,

I (and my whole family) are so grateful for audible and all you do. THANK YOU. I would like to make a formal request that when you invite audible users to give audible credits or books as gifts, you revert back to the use of ‘give’ as the verb, rather than ‘gift.’ Whenever I get an email inviting me to “gift a book” I feel extremely sad and despondent. I would love it if audible would instead write invitations like this:

“Give The Gift Of Audible To A Loved One!”

In any case, thank you for being so wonderful!


Anne (not Karen)

I did this knowing that it will probably never be read, and also knowing that language changes, that trying to insist on certain kinds of usage is a losing and probably even immoral battle. Language Changes. It’s what it does. It is always changing. And this is one of the changes that is irrevocably happening before my very eyes and ears. Like the constructions “Where are we at?” and “That’s so impactful.”

Seriously, I don’t mind language changing. I love saying “tho” and ending a sentence with “so” and no punctuation. I love the ascendancy of “splain” where all others hate it. I don’t want to be a stick in the mud. It’s just happening to me without my trying. Maybe for Lent I should try giving up being angry about people “gifting” other people things. But I hate the failures of Lent, so maybe not.

The Second Thing

It’s not lent yet, so I’m gonna go ahead (like I said, I love all these new spellings, like “gonna”) and yet again complain about La Jenner. I linked this yesterday, but you should read it, and more importantly, watch the video of two people talking about how La Jenner pursuing “her” (speaking of language being mangled on a daily basis) own truth is hashtag stunning and brave. For one thing, they look both languid and shifty. Languid in a decadent kind of way, like nothing really matters anymore, but they do have to keep showing up to work, even though there is nothing of substance to talk about. Shifty because of the lie they both have to embrace, but what ya gonna do.

Personally, I find it horrifying that an elegant, beautiful, perfectly put together woman (the purple dress is so gorgeous) would have to sit there and say the glowing, respectful things she has to say about La Jenner. I mean, that person is twice her size, and in a decathlon, that person would beat her without even having to try.

Can we all agree that no one should ever have to pose nude anymore? If gender and sex aren’t really anything, except for stunning and brave, can we not have to see it with its medal and its flag? Let’s go back to being prudish and never taking off our clothes for strangers. What was that weird thing called? modesty? chastity? Those words are so old, I guess we didn’t need them in our headlong rush to perdition. But maybe they could come back. Part of language changing is digging around and finding old words that get to become new again.

Old and Busted: Posing Naked for Sports Illustrated (also porn, and misogyny etc.)

New Hotness: Wearing nice clothes, accepting who you are in your body, and not lying about what is really stunning and brave.

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