The New Nailed It You Were All Longing For

I just finally looked up what “tl;dr” means. I kept seeing it and pretending I knew, but then it turned out, finally, that I really didn’t, so I googled. I find it surprisingly hard to google anything anymore. It feels like a strange capitulation to my own ignorance. I should know. But I don’t know. Therefore I should go to the library. But that’s too hard. Oh well, I guess I’ll google. It is a tiny defeat, an infinitesimally small spoonful of sand to add to my ever-growing pile of 2020 Ennui.

Anyway, “tl;dr” means “too long; didn’t read.” And boy is that a pertinent and pithy little set of letters. Here is one just now that is tl;dr. I got through half and then I was sort of depressed. Algorithm changes are the absolute worst. And here is something else that looks interesting, but my goodness, it so wretchedly long.

Unlike those things, feel free to preorder (scroll down for an awesome discount) my book, if you want to. It is long, but not so long that you can’t read it, because it’s in little chunks, unlike the Bible which, oh my word, is exactly the right kind of text for tl;dr. Isn’t that literally what the entire modern world has noticed about the Bible? It’s so true, it should be in caps—The Bible: TL;DR.

My book on the other hand, So Short; Totes Worth It.

I would like to say a couple of things about the new version. Some of you have noticed immediately that the title and cover are slightly adjusted. That’s because I took all the sarcasm that was on the cover, and put it straight into the text. Honestly, I was worried that the first edition wasn’t sarcastic enough, but I personally have no qualms about it now. Second, I think you’ll find it much more smooth—it will be easier to read through the whole Bible in a year, if that’s your aim, because I don’t skip over such large swaths of text…although I did write something like three or four for Jonah, I couldn’t help myself, and an inordinate number for Esther. #sorrynotsorry

There is a lot of new “content” in this version because as a content “provider” it seemed the obvious thing. If I’m not providing content, then what am I even doing. Also, none of them over onto the next page—so for you types that get anxious about that sort of thing, this book will not be a trigger for you. (Don’t worry, there will probably be something else that makes you mad or sad or something.)

This will still be a great book for you to give away as presents for Christmas. And for those of you far-flung who can’t easily get a physical copy, there will be an e-book variety. And honestly, that’s about all the shameless promotional work I can bring myself to do. BUY MY BOOK! Or don’t, see if I care. I’m just kidding, I care enormously. I may be sarcastic, but I’m not a liar.

And also, in the spirit of love and so forth, here are some other people’s books you should buy. Here is a great one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one. Don’t be stingy! Go buy books!