Wordy Wednesday: Meat Pie

There are two kinds of meat pie as far as I am concerned. There is the larger italianish Meat Pie done in a full pie tin, with a variation of smaller tins–crust on top and bottom–and then there's the smaller hand held Meat Pie with curry powder, no pie tin, just meat in crust that you hold in your hand and devour hoping that no one is really watching you.

The crust is exactly the same in both cases. And I assume that you want to double or triple everything. Here's what I do for anything that ever requires crust.

5 cups flour

2 tsp salt

4 sticks unsalted butter (I think that's like a pound “or something”.)

An unspecified amount of Cold Water

Mix the salt into the flour well and then cut in the butter. All of it. I basically cube it and then work it in with my fingers. You can use a pastry cutter “or something” but I never bother. You just crumble the butter into the flour until its well integrated. You know, crumbly. And then you can start adding the water, slowly, drizzilingly really, and turning the dough over with your hand. You don't, and I can't emphasize this strongly enough, want a super wet sticky dough. You really want an almost dry, but not exactly dry dough that hasn't been handled barely at all. You just go in, as bravely and firmly as you can, and quickly, and with as few movements as possible, pull the dough together with as little water as possible. Then you plunk it into the fridge, maybe wrapped in that thin plastic stuff, what's that called, or just left in the bowl, for at least ten minutes, long enough to be going on with the Meat.

For that you'll need a lot of ground beef. But meatloaf mix is nice too. I say a lot. Hmmm, maybe five pounds? Or maybe only two. How much pie do you want to eat? That's what you have to ask yourself. And how much will you have to share?

For Italianish Meat Pie I go with mushrooms, carrots, onion, garlic, tomato, wine, thyme, maybe a bayleaf, all mellowed together in a great steaming pot. Its actually really better if you can do this the day before you want to eat the pie so that it has time to marry itself into a perfect union or harmony and flavor.

For Curried Meat Pie its really just onion, garlic, ground beef, and a liberal helping of curry powder. Don't be a snob about the curry powder. For one thing, what are you going to do, invent a curry? And for another, are people who really love curry busy mushing it into meat pies? No, you are not trying to be a curry purist. You just want to eat a whole pie quietly in peace, not succumbing to the anxieties and troubles of this world. Just quietly take the curry powder tin from the store, paying for it of course, and don't let the judging eyes of the world deter you from this most necessary pie.

In both cases you really want the Meat Filling to be cool before you try to put it in the pie. And you want the dough to be cool or cold when you roll it out, always applying plenty of flour as you go along. If you're looking at a Whole Pie, just take a pie tin and, roll out your two crusts, fill it with the filling, and bake it at something like 350 for quite a long time, till the top is golden brown and the sauce is oozing out. If you're looking at smaller tartlets, well, do that. If you want to just hold a pie in your hand, roll out a circle, put a little bit of meat filling in one half of the cirlce, fold it over, pinch the edges, and bung them all in the oven at 350 or something, for not quite as long.

The question you're then faced with is, how much of a glutton are you? Are you a measured disciplined person who can just eat a pie, or part of a pie, and then walk a way and not worry about the rest? Or are you a person who eats a pie, or a piece of pie, and shares the rest out, but then there are five or six little meat pies sitting there, and they way on your mind, and you wonder whether there are really enough to divide amongst the family, or whether you should shove them at the back of the fridge, and just, you know, eat them one by one yourself. When other people come to inquire about the pie, you just shrug, and say you don't know, but you don't think there's any left, but you'll check later, if you rememer.