7 Toothsome Takes

Its Friday! And that means Takes.

One
It appears that if you want to buy my book on Amazon you have to wait. Cough. I should be appalled and saddened, and of course I am, but also just a teensy bit totally delighted. You know it must be worth having if it takes a long time to get! And also, if everyone else wants it it must be good!

Two
Spoiled the whole point of Ash Wednesday by immediately, and I do mean immediately, trying to take pictures of the children with their ashes during the peace. Some people were greeting each other, and I was trying to position my phone for a pretty good shot. But I swear, if I hadn’t done it right then I would not have had another moment all day, that’s what I told myself.

Three
Loved Matt’s Ash Wednesday sermon. Usually always hear every sermon twice (once at 8 o’clock and once at 10:30–because I’m dumber than most and need two listenings for anything to make it through my thick skull) and Wednesday was no exception. We all went early at 7 and then again at 6. Although the second time some the children played downstairs. Kind of amazed that any children can sit through church, but to do it at 7 in the morning, and then again in the evening, and only silently wiggle without coming apart at the emotional seams was pretty amazing to me.

Anyway, loved the thought that the ash, not being a sign of righteousness but of death, is like wearing the contents of whatever you have shoved under your bed on your forehead, so that other people can see it, instead of pretending that it’s not even there. What a devastating idea.

Four
Spent the whole week (especially because of the sermon) thinking about virtue signaling. The problem with every age’s peculiar virtues is that you Have to let other people know about them for the help of those other people. The whole point of human virtue is to “help” other people. That’s not true virtue, of course, but in my human centric emotional space, what use is having the right set of beliefs and actions if I can’t “help” others along towards them which means letting those other people know about them. You can’t “raise awareness” if other people aren’t made aware.

In other words, it’s impossible to separate your virtuous ego out of the task of letting other people know about things, most especially things like the gospel, or things you really care about. I can’t help but fool myself about the “good” I’m doing. The comforting thing is that God can use my actions even if I do them in entirely the wrong spirit and for my own glory. He is not limited by my limitless pride. So there’s that, however humiliating that truth may be.

Five
Everyone has a new cold–a richly overflowing bubbly cold–varied ever so slightly from the last one that ended only on Wednesday morning. Misery abounds. And whining. And the inability to cope with the basic realities of life like picking up a shoe off the floor, or not throwing down all the pencils and markers whilst trying to draw a picture, or not watching lots of Netflix but having rather to try to sit and think. Math is basically impossible to understand–all math– and reading has become like deciphering the Rosetta Stone. There’s no point really. And does any of it really matter?

Six
Woefully behind on my bible reading plan. Am now more than a month back from where I should be. Surprisingly, though, I finished my audible book before I get to have my new credit. I can’t believe this would happen to me, and I’m alarmed that I may have to face the next four days listening only to the Bible. That’s not at all how I had hoped to spend the weekend.

How tragic that listening to the Bible would be something I have to gear up for and easily forget, but listening to books on audible is a treat that I never neglect. It should be the other way around. Guess I don’t have that much virtue to signal after all.

Seven
The baby of the family lost her first tooth. She’s been working on it for a week or more and so it’s all pretty exciting. I do have some advice for young parents of infants. Don’t Do The Tooth Fairy. If you have to do something, just hand them a quarter when they hand you the tooth. What’s weird about that? But if you Do foolishly fall for the tooth fairy, follow my wise council and don’t have the child put the tooth under the pillow. Have the child put the tooth in the little apple shaped wooden box on the bookshelf in the entry way. And try to always carry a dollar in your pocket. And then, when the child isn’t looking, some weeks after the tooth was placed in the box and the child has completely given up hope and finally understands that the tooth fairy, so old and decrepit and forgetful, is an absolute nincompoop, then, and only then, put the tooth in your pocket and the dollar in the box. As time goes by your pockets will be more and more laden with teeth, which isn’t weird at all, and you can collect the dollars back as children, who don’t understand the real value of money, throw them down with all the pencils and markers and walk away. That’s my advice, and I’m sure you should listen to it because I know what of I am speaking.

And now go check out more and better takes and pray for Kelly who isn’t feeling well at all.