Donald Trump: I’m Thinking About Suing Pope Francis

You’d be right to conclude that the following post is satirical in nature.

“You know, I like the pope, he’s a great pope,” the 2016 GOP frontrunner Donald Trump told reporters Thursday evening. “Though I haven’t met the guy I know he says nice things once in a while” he continued. “But I have to say: I’m thinking about suing the guy.”

This comes in after news outlets pounced on the release of Pope Francis’s press conference onboard his flight from Mexico to Rome – after a pastoral visit to the country.

“Pope Francis Suggests Donald Trump Is ‘Not Christian’,” reads the headline of a NY Times piece from today.

“That alone,” Trump said, “is enough to sue him for all he’s got – and I’ve got to say, it’s not much compared to me. Listen: I’m richer than the Catholic Church.”

The NY Times headline doesn’t get the story straight, even though it provides some details in the article that clarifies things for its readers.

They report:

“A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian,” Francis said when a reporter asked him about Mr. Trump on the papal airliner as he returned to Rome after his six-day visit to Mexico.

…

Asked whether he would try to influence Catholics in how they vote in the presidential election, Francis said he “was not going to get involved in that” but then repeated his criticism of Mr. Trump, with a caveat.

“I say only that this man is not Christian if he has said things like that,” Francis said. “We must see if he said things in that way and in this I give the benefit of the doubt.”

The Pope qualified his comments in a way that shouldn’t lead one to conclude “Pope Francis Suggests Donald Trump Is ‘Not Christian'” simply from the in-flight press conference and the reference to border walls and migration policies belonging to Trump. Both satire and not-but-seems-to-be-satire outlets should be able to figure that one out. Needless to say, one should have questioned the compatibility of Trump’s positions with Christianity long before Francis was dragged into the political circus we call democracy in the United States.

Regardless, poor reporting and clickbait headlines – such as the one employed above – have outraged the GOP contender, and his numbers are dramatically falling in national polls.

“He’s damaged my campaign, he’s damaged my good reputation: I’m thinking about suing [Pope Francis],” Trump said.

“Listen,” Trump continued, “I’m here to make America great again, the most Christian country on the planet. It’s hard to do that when the Pope uses language that the media is able to distort in order to make it seem like the Pope, himself, said that I’m not a Christian. That’s why we’re thinking about suing.”

This wouldn’t be the first time a possible law suit comes up during this election cycle. Trump has recently threatened to sue Canadian-born, GOP contender Ted Cruz over a recent campaign ad.

In response to Trump’s announcement that he is thinking about suing the pope, the useless and unworthy of being considered as an authentic source Center for Authenticity in Media, Politics, and Capitalism – a US-based think tank dedicated towards justice in all social relations – said,

Time and time again, we hear of ridiculous, misleading statements from people and organizations throughout our country. We thought we were evolving as a nation, and we may be, but the Pope has put us back a few decades. He should know how to talk to the news media in a way that doesn’t allow for any person – regardless of how unchristian his positions may actually be – to be targeted and identified as non-Christian in this great country. We also believe that the Pope violated some international treaty by spreading such malicious propaganda and formally endorse Donald Trump for President of the United States: Make America Great Again!

When asked by reporters whether he actually thinks his positions are Christian in any consistent way, shape, or form the real-estate mogul and TV personality turned GOP contender said, “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.” He may not be interested in the Bible, or even seriously believe his positions are Christian in any consistent way, but “I’m rich and America loves me and that’s all that matters,” he said.

Insisting that the Pope was in the wrong and showed conclusive proof of his own fallibility by his poor word choices, the Trump concluded: “I’m right. I’m rich. The pope guy is a socialist and doesn’t love America. I want to make it great again. God is on my side, not the pope’s. God will win the lawsuit for me – if we sue.”

Vatican spokesperson Vince Lombardi did not respond with comment by press time.

**Update: ROME 2:39 AM, 18 Feb.** Lombardi responded to “Proper Nomenclature” with the following comment: “During the in-flight conference, the Holy Father offered a nuanced, qualified comment in response to a question concerning a certain candidate for President of the United States. There was no intention to address or specifically refer to the individual candidate nor could the Holy Father do so at the time, for that was the first time he heard the name Donald Grump. Nevertheless, Pope Francis does not comment on individual candidates.”