The Struggle

By Bruce Adams

In the first blog I wrote entitled The Calling, I said, that there are times when my ego personality showed me that it is only a breath away. From personal experience, I can honestly say it was a tremendous challenge to stay awake and look beyond my previous beliefs and attachments I once had.

After being told by God that I was to write a spiritual book and explain the true meaning of Unconditional Love, I first had to understand what Unconditional Love was. Having lived some 43 years only seeing life from and through the filter of my ego eyes, it seemed I had first to go through a kind metamorphosis. By metamorphosis I mean that my vision and understanding of life had to be transformed from the human view to that of our True Spirit. Today, I recognize that the process I was being called to experience is no different then that which Christ spoke of when he talked of rebirthing. What I discovered along the way to awakening was there is a great deal of struggle that happens within the process.

For example, there were times when I felt so connected to God and nature I had no need of anything to feel complete. In those moments, there existed no lack or fear of any kind.

Many times however those moments proved to be very temporary and elusive.

At the beginning stages old thought patterns would somehow seep back into my mind and bring up fears founded on attachments to my prior beliefs. I found myself asking God, why is this so difficult?

In the early stages of what I now would call my awakening, it seemed I could only manage to maintain true vision for very small amounts of time. Once the door to fear based thoughts was allowed to open, it appeared difficult to close it once again.

There was a constant struggle to maintain my presence to the point where I was not judging someone or something. Struggling to keep my Spiritual eyes open was indeed challenging and it proved to be difficult to avoid judging someone or something in the moment.

The greatest struggle that seemed almost impossible however, was the struggle with judging myself. I suppose that is why the first book I wrote called IT IS ALL ONE TRUTH took me 3 years to write.

I remember thinking, God had spoken directly to me, used a bug to show me that there is an interconnection between Man and Nature, gifted me with an overview of Creation, and yet I could still have moments of falling back into the dream and once again experience fear based thoughts. It’s been said that your treasure will be tested in the fire. Today I would say from personal experience, maintaining our Spiritual awareness involves a degree of struggle and may just be the hardest thing you will ever experience.

When Jesus said; “You must be vigilant in every moment” he was 100% correct.

The Buddha said: “Those who practice the Way might well follow the example of an ox that marches through the deep mire carrying a heavy load. He is tired, but his steady gaze, looking forward, will never relax until he comes out of the mire, and it is only then that he takes a respite. O monks, remember that passions and sins are more than the filthy mire, and that you can escape misery only by earnestly and steadily thinking of the Way.”

Ecclesiastes 1:13 (New King James Version)

“And I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the sons of man, by which they may be exercised.”

Regardless of what path you may find yourself on, or what religion you practice, anyone who wishes to awaken and live awakened in this world will have to deal with their own struggles.

More to come…

Love and Light,

Brother Bruce