Seven Things We Forget When Our Resolutions Fail

January 6, 2015 By Reba Riley

Our resolutions fail around the sixth day of January—or maybe the fifteenth if we’re really disciplined and really imaginative and really motivated—not because our inner child/artist/ is injured, or because we don’t actually want to change. (Even if our inner child is bleeding and our inner artist suffers from painter’s block, we do want to change, dammit! Have you seen our credit card debt, thighs and messy closets? ) No. Our resolutions don’t fail because we lack discipline, or imagination or motivation. Our resolutions fail because we forget... Read more

The Special Forces Guide to Surviving Christmas

December 24, 2014 By Reba Riley

Does “First they tell you not to panic, and then they try to drown you,” sound like Christmas with your family? If so, this post is for you. “First they tell you not to panic, and then they try to drown you,” explains author Ben Sherwood in his fantastic book The Survivor’s Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life, about how the military teaches Marine Corps Aviation Survival Training, aka “the art and craft of escaping from... Read more

I Am Capable of Torture…And So Are You

December 10, 2014 By Reba Riley

We all are all horrified about the C.I.A.’s ‘Torture report’. We are all shocked at the brutality in the name of country, and the pain inflicted in the name of safety. We are also all capable of those acts—and worse. Though I believe we can and should judge the system critically to analyze what and how went wrong, we also need to recognize that it could have been any one of us in the role of Torturer. “Oh no, not... Read more

A Poem for Survivors

December 8, 2014 By Reba Riley

You are closer than you know More capable than you dream And more grace-filled than you dared believe. That which could not kill you Has not only made you stronger: It has also made you softer In beautiful ways. So take all that grit and bend Align it with the winds Of change headed your way. Knowing that the path Already laid before you Will be better as you walk it This day. Every once in a great while I... Read more

#NoSmallDreams

December 5, 2014 By Reba Riley

I use this hashtag in my correspondence every time I mention a Really Audacious Goal. Since I have a whole bunch of Really Audacious Goals when it comes to this whole writing thing, our team sees #NoSmallDreams A LOT. #NoSmallDreams is intended to remind everyone, especially me, to ignore “the odds”–because in my heart of hearts, I really don’t believe in odds: I believe that Hard Work + Divine Alignment= Miracles. (Please don’t be impressed by my “faith”. I feel... Read more

What Dancing Badly Taught Me About Faith

December 3, 2014 By Reba Riley

I am not a dancer. This is not the blithe claim of a former cheerleader —no. I failed out of first-grade jazz class. If judges were to grade my dancing ability like the Olympics, they would need signs featuring negative numbers. How then, did I end up in the Cincinnati Ballet’s practice room one Saturday morning at 11am, surrounded by people who can touch knee to nose while standing upright? Good question. I’ve been telecommuting and so sedentary that I... Read more

Happy Thoughts

November 24, 2014 By Reba Riley

When I was fifteen, I bought a journal and a set of brightly-colored markers with money I’d earned babysitting the kids down the street. On the first page, I wrote the heading: “Rebecca’s Happy Thoughts”, then I began making a list of everything and everyone that made me happy. It went something like this: #1. Sunsets #2. Mom #3. Blowing bubbles #4. Chocolate #5. The beach… I carried that journal and the journals that would follow it around for the... Read more

Healing Spiritual Abuse with Creativity: A Journey in Music, Dance, and Ditching the “Box”

November 21, 2014 By Reba Riley

A guest post by Jaime Marich, Ph.D. I didn’t receive messages growing up that dancing was bad. I’ve heardmany people brought up in rigidly religious legalism share that they wereraised with this belief; it was not my experience. Both of my parents wererigidly religious in their own ways—my mother a Roman Catholic and myfather a devout Evangelical Christian (he left Catholicism when I wasfive). Even though both drove me nuts with their convictions, I creditboth of my parents for fostering... Read more

How to Pray When You Can’t Pray to God

November 19, 2014 By Reba Riley

“I want to pray, but I don’t believe in God,” a woman said as a book club meeting for my upcoming memoir Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome. “I want to connect spiritually like you did, but I don’t believe anyone is listening.” I was quiet for a moment, considering the question. It was an important one—so many people long to reach for Something Bigger but their idea of “God”, maybe even the word “God” gets in the way. I’d already told the... Read more

Why I Love My Body

November 17, 2014 By Reba Riley

Accidentally eavesdropping from a bathroom stall in the kind of fancy-schmancey restaurant that I only eat at when my boss is paying, I overheard this: Woman #1 [Groaning]: Oh. My. God. Would you look at my thighs? Why did I even buy this dress? I look like a sausage! And my back…I have more cleavage there than my front! Woman #2: At least you have a tiny waist! My stomach looks like I’m pregnant. And that Hollywood diet clearly didn’t... Read more