Why I Love Oklahoma

By JIM MYERS World Washington Bureau
Published: 7/25/2009 4:10 AM

Last Modified: 7/25/2009 4:29 AM

WASHINGTON — Armadillos, marshmallows and American liberty.

U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn managed to connect those three in a speech Thursday on the Senate floor to explain how he traps armadillos that visit his yard in Muskogee and what Americans could learn from their fate.

“They’ll ruin a good yard ’cause they like grub worms,” the Oklahoma Republican said in remarks on federal spending that could be described as vintage Coburn.

“So all you have to do is to lay a few marshmallows out and then put a marshmallow or two in the trap cage. You’ll catch those suckers.”

According to Coburn, that’s exactly what’s happening to Americans and their liberty.

“We bite the first little bite off the marshmallow and say, ‘Oh, that tastes good,’ ” he said.

” ‘I got a little benefit here. There’s no connection between what I’ve done and me receiving this benefit.’ “

And, Coburn continued, Americans then take another bite of the marshmallow and then another.

“Pretty soon, that armadillo fellow, he’s in my cage. I got him. And the reason I got him is he kept thinking he could get something for nothing. He kept thinking, ‘Man, that’s a sweet marshmallow.'”

So, what happens to the armadillos that Coburn traps at his home?

“One of two things,” the physican-turned-politician explained.

“I either put ’em in the back of my pickup and take ’em 10 or 15 miles away from my property or I shoot ’em.

“That’s exactly what’s going to happen to us,” Coburn said. “We are either going to be carried far way from what we know, we trust and believe in to be right or we are going to be extinct as a nation.”