What to Give the Catholic Homeschooling Geek

Christmas is approaching at the speed of a freight train barreling toward us. We’re all beginning to think about what perfect gift to give to each of our loved ones.

On my own list are several wonderful Catholic homeschooling moms. Great ladies. Nightmares to shop for. I know you were all thinking that the Uro-Club would be the perfect gift, but most of these women don’t have the chance to golf. Sad, isn’t it?

Instead, why not give them an educational tool their kids will play with again and again? I present to you Vatican-The Board Game. (No, I did not make this up.) What mom wouldn’t enjoy seeing her little ones make the the journey from “Cardinal to Pope”? (We all dream about it secretly anyway, don’t we?)

During the course of their careers, players “Take a Stand” on weighty theological and moral issues, including contraception, clerical celibacy or the campaign to have the Virgin Mary proclaimed co-redeemer. The race begins as soon as the previous papacy ends, sometimes in bizarre circum-stances. “The Pope dies when the popemobile rolls over after hitting a truck carrying bananas. Your earlier warnings that the popemobile was unstable are now seen as evidence of your sound judgement and you gain additional support,” reads one card.

Players must seek to climb the ladder to spiritual perfection while simultaneously avoiding the “Cesspool of Sin,” by not, for example, committing the “Sin of Gluttony: at a papal banquet, you have three helpings of cannelloni.” . . . But when it comes to the conclave itself, other cardinals will be waiting for you to slip up: “Your tendency to fall asleep during meetings becomes a cause for comment”, one card reads, while another simply says: “Your poor command of Latin is noted and commented on by a number of cardinals—minus 10 votes.”

Sounds like a scream to me! Hurry and order the Papal Election Game while supplies last!!!!