Mistake #1, May There Be No More

A boy asked our eldest for her phone number this week. It’s not surprising, I guess. She’s 13 and looks older and is gorgeous. It’s been hell on her father, the whole gorgeous thing. The boy asking for her number got him thinking about what kind of ammunition we have on hand.

It started out innocently. He’s on the basketball team; she’s a cheerleader. He friended her on Facebook; I’m beginning to hate Facebook. He sent her an email saying he’d like to get to know her better, could he call he sometime.

My daughter thought about for approximately half a second and decided that this young man was not up to her very high standards, as she thinks only young men who know how to spell and actually understand punctuation should be considered as potential anythings. She also readily admits that she’s too young for romance.

She asked me for advice on blowing him off but being nice about it. I messed up. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. I told her to politely reply that she was flattered, but that her parents don’t allow her to give out her number to boys who are not already family friends. I should have stopped it myself.

He wrote back and suggested that my sweet girl should get a cell phone to talk to him behind our backs. My daughter read his suggestion and then said aloud, “I already have a cell phone. Why would I need another one……..Oh. He wants me to lie…..He wants me to lie and sneak and….lie.” I should have stepped in.

She wrote back, “I am not in the habit of lying to my parents or of hanging out with people who encourage me to do so.” The snot replied “I thought you liked me.”

I ended it there. I should have ended it in the beginning.

I made the mistake of thinking that because she looks older and acts older and has a good head on her shoulders, that she was ready to handle this simple thing with a little guidance. She was not. She was upset over having to be mean. It bothered her to hurt his feelings. She was the perfect example of how teenagers aren’t ready for this. They are not ready for their minds to battle their emotions.

It is my job to protect her, may I have the wisdom and foresight that is necessary to give her the protection she deserves.