Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?

A Facebook acquaintance of mine posted the other day that she and her husband “have decided to start trying to have a baby.  Cross your fingers for us!”   Ick.

I don’t understand this new trend in announcing the intention to begin trying to conceive.  It’s the same thing as saying “my husband and I are going to be having a lot of sex in the near future.”  What am I supposed to say to that?  I hope it’s good for you?   It just all seems too private, too personal to be telling anyone, and unbelievably too private for the strangers on Facebook.

I suppose it is all a symptom of the contracepting culture in which we live.  “Being responsible” and taking the Pill is the sign of mature femininity, so going off of the Pill and having “unprotected” sex has become the ultimate symbol of a committed relationship.  What a wedding used to be, the “trying to conceive” announcement has become.  In a wedding, a woman dedicates her life to her husband.  With this announcement, she finally offers him her uterus.

Is this some new sort of etiquette which Emily Post needs to address?  A new line of Hallmark cards for the socially adept to send?  How would they even word that?  If we should offer our congratulations to the couple who decides to conceive, should we send a note of condolence to the couple who just “isn’t ready yet”?  This is yet another symptom of our reality show, me-centered culture.  Nothing is private any more, not even the love of a husband and a wife.

There are things I just don’t want to know about people.  I don’t want to know your sex schedule, I don’t want that mental image of you.  Call me when the test is positive and I will rejoice with you.  Tell me when it’s not and I’ll pray with you, but don’t tell me during the middle of it.  There really are some things I don’t need to know about you, and what you’re doing in the bedroom is one of them.