Setting the Bar

Last night, my husband got an email from a boy.  Not just any boy, but the nice son of my friend K.  The one who patiently took my 3 year old a dozen times through the penguin house at Sea World.  The kind of boy we all dream that our daughters will be lucky enough to meet someday.

He’s been #1’s Facebook friend for close to a year now.  I know her mom, we have children the same ages who are all homeschooled…it just seemed like a natural thing to let them chat with each other as a reward for finishing Algebra assignments.  (We all need a reward at the end of the day if we’ve finished Algebra.)

This boy wrote to introduce himself to my husband.  He listed all his credentials…Catholic, homeschooled, 9 years as an altar server, etc. and then told her father “that he promises” that their conversations will not “pose any problems whatsoever.”  He then asked my husband if it was okay that he continue emailing her and occasionally calling her.  (They live 8 hours away, there will be little if no “face to face” time.)

My husband stared at the computer screen completely flabbergasted.  “He’s asking my permission to write to my daughter?  Who does that any more?” he asked me.

“Boys who respect your daughter,” I told him.

He thought about it for a moment and then remarked that they are very young, but even if this doesn’t ever go anywhere more than friendship….this boy has set the standard of behavior so high that only a really great guy could ever live up to it.   Because how will our daughter, after being treated with such kindness and respect, ever look favorably at anyone who fails to live up to this standard?

We owe a debt of gratitude to the nice boy from Texas.  He has shown our daughter the way in which she deserves to be treated, and she likes it.  We also owe quite a bit to his parents who have raised a son who is honest enough to not want to even email a girl behind her parents’ backs and with the character to treat girls with respect instead of as objects.