Today I Forgot How to Pee

I admit it.  This afternoon, I forgot how to pee.  I knew I had to go.  Trust me, at 34 weeks pregnant with a baby who likes to jump on my bladder, I have to go a lot.

This afternoon she must have been pressing on a nerve because the message was not getting down to the right part to relax and just let go.  I sat there for about 5 minutes with my eyes closed mentally searching for the muscle that was holding it all in.  I couldn’t find it!

I found and relaxed one pelvic area muscle after another.  Who knew there were so many?  I’ve never had to think about them one by one before.  I just took for granted that they would do their jobs without too much interference from my conscious thought.

My 4 year old wandered into the bathroom as I was sitting with my eyes closed.  “What are you doing, Mommy?” He asked.

“I’m trying to pee,” his dumb mother told him.

“Oh.” He said.  “Did you forgotted how?”

“Yes.” I sheepishly replied.  “How do you do it?”

“Well, first you have to have a pe.nis…..” he told me.  Yeah kid, you’re really no help.

I finally found the all important muscle and relief never felt so good.  I’m so grateful for the dumb kegels that my midwife forever nags me about doing.  I don’t know that I could have found all those muscles without that practice.

The moral of the story is, do your kegels no matter how dumb you feel.  And I’m not the only person who’s ever run into this problem.  I remember from back in college that Beavis and Butthead once had the same thing happen to them. 

It’s Beavis and Butthead.  Watch at your own risk. It’s stupid and juvenile, but I once was 18 and found this hilarious.