Shoved to Them
(Surprise! This is LarryD, filling in for Rebecca while she’s on a short vacation. She thinks of me as the obnoxious older brother she unfortunately never had, while she’s the annoying younger sister I never had to endure. Which begs the obvious question: What was she thinking, accepting my offer to post? Oh well – live and learn. If you want to read really good stuff, head over to my regular blog, Acts of the Apostasy. What do you mean, you’re not a regular reader??)
I’ve noticed that Rebecca loves to give stuff away. She’s very generous with other people’s things, isn’t she? Seriously, though – running give-aways makes her happy, and the products she offers are really nice, and they’re from good companies and for good causes.
So I thought, heck, why not jump in on that action too? I like giving stuff away – and I like supporting honorable causes.
There’s a local place real close to where I live, called LarryD’s Lounge of Lousy Litter and Left-overs – in fact, it’s so close, it’s actually in my basement. Right now, I’m clearing out select items, and through an exclusive arrangement with Shoved to Them (see italicized paragraph above), these items are being made available to all you loyal readers!
But here’s the best part – they’re up for auction! I kid you not! This is so much better than a give-away, because you can help out a dad who’s surrounded by useless junk cool stuff, by bidding on unwanted clutter rare and unique items. And the second best part is that all proceeds will go to a worthwhile charity. I don’t have one selected as of yet, so you will just have to trust me, okay?
Let’s get started!
Item #1 – a whiffle ball. Very practical, because if properly aimed and thrown at the optimum velocity, it will immediately jolt that non-responsive television viewer/video-game player/computer zombie into action, without leaving any visible signs of injury! And you can play baseball with it too! Very versatile.
Item #2 – a plastic tiki ice bucket (with tongs) This attractive item is perfect to scare the bejeezus out of any infant or toddler. It can also be used as a tobacco spittoon, in which case you would never want to ever use it as an ice bucket again.
Item #3 – an electronic toucan. This clever little toucan has an identity problem, because it repeats everything you say, which makes it more like a parrot. Poor thing! At least, it would repeat everything you say if it wasn’t broken. But it does flap its wings a bit. Sort of.
Item #4 – a Bop-It. Quite possibly the world’s most annoying toy, after anything that involves Barney the Dinosaur. Guaranteed to give you a head-ache long before your child loses interest! Bop it! Twist it! Pull it! Buy it! Please!
Item #5 – a glass head. Very popular with bachelors back in the 90’s, for some reason. It’s the perfect representation of a Wall Street Occupier – completely empty-headed! Convenient if you have a wig, or if your husband or dad wears a fedora. A practical Christmas accessory, too, as it can sport a Santa hat!
Item #6 – a collection of BeyBlades, with BeyBlade Action Arena, and about 20 ripcords yet only 6 BeyBlade spinner thingys! Provides your children with 7.3 minutes of super-charged fun, yet hours of bickering over who gets to use the “cool looking” BeyBlade! These rarely used more than once toys could be a collector’s item someday. No, really!
This is just a picture of our cat, Missy. She doesn’t do tricks or anything, and isn’t included with the auction, but isn’t she cute?
There you have it, readers – the LarryD’s Lounge of Lousy Litter and Left-overs Auction Extravaganza. These items represent only a small portion of what’s available – if this auction is successful, you can expect to see future ones posted here. Bids start at any level – the higher the better. Winners will be notified on Sunday April 29th. Shipping and handling not included.
Commence bidding!
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