Shoved to Them
Dear #7,
My sweet baby girl, I love you too. In fact, I don’t think anyone has ever loved me to quite the degree you seem to. At first it was flattering, but you’ve begun to take it to a point that might be called unhealthy.
I used to love it that you wanted to sit on my lap to eat, but last week it took an ugly turn when you decided that the only food fit for consumption was my own and you cried if I dared to eat it myself instead of feeding all of it to you. I’m getting kinda hungry here, my love.
If I ever doubted your devotion to me, it ended this morning in the bathroom. While the chubby baby hands reaching under the door while I peed made me laugh, the face pressed against the shower door while I washed wasn’t quite as funny. The wail of “want innnnnnnn” made my right eye start to twitch. I love you, but peeing and showering are really activities I prefer to do solo. Next time, you could go read a book. Maybe with that daddy-person you used to be crazy about? Just a suggestion.
There was a time, my dear one, when I loved nothing more than to gaze at your sweet baby face. I might like it still, but what you were doing this morning in Mass – one hand on each of my cheeks, forehead to mine, nose smashed up against my own while you whispered “mommy-mommy mommy-mommy” was a little creepy. I’m not gonna lie to you.
I know you just want me to hold you all. the. time, but I’ve had about enough of your recent attempts to climb up the side of me and into my arms on your own. Doing it while I’m cooking any makes it dangerous as well as annoying. Just a hint for the future, people don’t really dig it when you grab their shirts and try to hoist yourself up them. Also, your shoes hurt. Just letting you know.
But my absolute favorite new thing is the way you put your baby hands on my legs and try to shove me wherever you want for me to go. I promise you that’s not at all annoying. Yes, I’m being sarcastic.
Here’s the thing my love, I’m just not into this new relationship you seem to think we have. The one where you own me and heaven help the brother or sister who tries to sit on the same couch I do. You know what I mean I’m sure. Remember the way you screeched “My mommy!” at poor #6? It’s seriously not cool.
The truth is that I’m seeing other children and, I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but I love them too. I promise that there are enough hugs for everyone. No child has ever gone without. If that’s not good for you, I hear that that daddy-person has an empty lap at this very moment. Perhaps you could help him with that and give your poor mom a break. How does that sound?
Hopefully,
Your Mom
****update for the readers – 21 month olds can’t read. Did you know? She is, at this moment sitting on my lap and screaming at the iPad because I’m touching it. This is going to be a long night.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In