Little Snot

Wendy (yes, we’re calling her that now) has gotten to the age of being done with Mass. That one hour of her being quiet in the pew just seems to drag on forever.

In the past few weeks she’s tried crying and wailing to get carried out of the church, but the mom who carried her out was much less fun than she had hoped. She tried climbing out of the pew and making a run for it, but quickly discovered that her big brothers are faster…and again with the un-fun mom.

This Sunday, she decided to try something new. We were almost to the Consecration when she climbed up onto my lap, placed one hand on either side of my face, looked me dead in the eye and said very clearly and slowly “I’m crying. Let’s go.”

It took all my self control to not snort in laughter. I fought back a smile as I told her that we were staying put. She huffed in frustration and sat on my lap. She was quiet, but she wasn’t done yet. After a few minutes she climbed down to the floor and found my purse and looked inside. She pulled out a diaper and then put it back, then the wipes. She sat on the floor a moment longer before nodding to herself and standing up. She turned around and placed my purse on my lap before smiling broadly and loudly proclaiming “I’m poopy. Need diaper. Let’s go.” The small audience of children erupted into laughter at her devilish grin. I started laughing so hard at her daring roguishness that I was crying. She actually made sure I had diapers first! Little snot! I swept her up and out of the church as she proudly announced “I’m poopy!” to everyone she saw, and I bit my lip against my laughter.

Ah, she’s a naughty one, and now she’s learned the trick. Bothering people might not get you what you want, but making them laugh will work almost every time.