6 New Ideas for Celebrating St Valentine (and his day) with Your Kids

Valentine’s Day is next weekend, and all over Pinterest the moms are looking for cute new ways to celebrate with their kids and out-craft the other moms. While they’re fawning over origami hearts and do-it-yourself glitter chalk, why not go a more traditional route? Glitter gets everywhere and chocolate is gross (I can’t be the only one who thinks so, right?), but ancient bloody martyrs never go out of style.

Instead of pasting doilies and shaking on glitter, why not:

1) Regale the children with tales of St Valentine’s imprisonment before imposing a prison diet fast of bread and waterbefore dragging your kids off to Confession. Nothing says “I love you” quite like forced starvation and being reminded that they’re big ol’ sinners.

If they whine about wanting lunch, remind them that St Valentine never complained about a lack of food and neither should they. (Then have mercy on them with something simple like a grilled cheese sandwich. There’s no fancy stuff in prison. Cut it into a heart with a cookie cutter if you’re feeling ambitious.)

2) Introduce your kids to arts and crafts straight out of the Middle Ages with Skeleton Decorating!

Dig up a skeleton template from Halloween and use jewels, sequins, beads, and stickers (anything but glitter which gets everywhere!) to remind yourselves of the glory that awaits saints in Heaven. (Seriously. That’s why the Middle Ages people did it.)

3) St Valentine wasn’t just beheaded, he was stoned and beaten with sticks first. Hand the kids some pool noodles and send them out into the back yard in homage to his sacrifice. Throw balled up socks at each other if you want to add stoning to your “stick” pummeling.  Please note that I do not endorse using real sticks, real rocks, or real beheadings.

As an added bonus, your little saints will be all tuckered out and ready to play…

4) Catacombs!

Use this opportunity to tell about the ancient burial methods of placing bodies in the catacombs underneath the city and how early Christians would hide down there and say their Masses among their beloved dead. Then have your own little ones lay down on the floor, couches, beds or wherever is at hand and close their eyes pretending to be in the catacombs. First one to move, speak, or open their eyes loses. If they all happen to fall asleep, well then guess who wins? You do! That’s right!!!

5) If your catacomb players have a hard time relaxing, remember that St Valentine was the bishop of  Umbria which includes the city of Narnia. Break out your copy of “The Chronicles of Narnia” and softly read to them until they win you win at Catacombs.

If they’re onto you, there’s nothing saying that a smart mom can’t declare a Narnia movie marathon and kick back with a bottle glass of Italian wine…because he was from Italy of course.

6) If all else fails, you can always engage your children in a rousing game of “St Valentine’s in Prison.” You get to be St Valentine, so go lock yourself in your cell (aka your room) away from your devoted followers. Since Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday this year, appoint your husband to be the prison guard in charge of stopping those angry mobs from “rescuing” you. I know they all want to be imprisoned with you, bless their hearts, but that’s just not how jail cells work. If they really, really need to talk with you, they can make like the friends of the real St Valentine and send you secret notes. They can slip them to you under the door.

What will you do with an entire day to yourself spent “in lockdown”? That’s entirely up to you. I’m not telling how I’ll spend mine, after all what happens in prison stays in prison. I do know it’s starting with a good book and a bubble bath.