Perspective

Yesterday was my birthday. It came and went without a lot of fanfare. We had big plans for dinner out with friends, but it didn’t happen. We all got sick instead.

It started with the baby running a fever in Mass on Sunday morning, then one by one we all succumbed to it. Fevers, runny noses, sore throats, and crankiness. Norman Rockwell didn’t paint this type of family scene for a reason.

It’s hard not to be melancholy when the house is filled with sick children and you just want to go to bed yourself. This is not the way birthdays are supposed to go.

I had amazing birthdays in my childhood. Huge parties with the most amazing cakes. My mother was an artist with icing. She would begin planning our birthday cakes months ahead of time, long before planning for the actual party had even begun. The cake was everything. It determined the theme and decorations and how many people could be invited.

When you are a child, birthdays are all about the party and the presents. When you are an adult, they are a day for family and friends to call and touch base, a day for checking in and up. As my brother put it yesterday: “It’s not about the presents anymore, it’s about knowing you are remembered.”

If that is the measuring stick, then mine went pretty well after all. I heard from both of my brothers and more friends and acquaintances than I can possibly count. I heard from childhood friends and adult confidantes. I was hugged by my children who all dragged themselves from bed at various times during the day to come and find me for a hug and a quick “Happy Birthday Mom” before crawling back to their own beds. I heard the drowsy voice of my love as he wished me a happy day when the alarm went off in the morning and as I snuggled next to him again in the evening.

It was not the most fun birthday I’ve ever had. I would be glad to never spend another one quite like this, and yet it was a blessing in its own way. It was the reminder that life is not about parties, or cute presents, or even the number of birthdays you have along the way. Life is about the other people you impact. It’s about the friends and family who love you enough to take a moment to remember that you are here and be grateful for it.