The Game

At our house, the children play a game. I invented it. It’s called “For this one moment in time let’s pretend that Mom has a clue.” It’s a fun game and saves lots of time. There really are no rules, but I’ll give you an example of how we play it.

me: “The word bus only has one ‘s’ in it.”

#3: “Are you sure? Because it sounds like it has two.”

me: “I’m sure, just one ‘s.'”

#3: “Because, Mom, it really sounds like there should be two. Listen ‘Busssssssss.'”

me: “Play the game.”

#3: (Skeptically) “Okay…” Erases the extra ‘s.’

Playing the game saves us a lot of arguments. I wish more people would learn how to play it. People like the dentist’s office who called this morning to confirm my appointment for next week and mispronounced our last name.

me: “I know our name ends with a ‘ch’, but you pronounce it like a ‘k.'”

her: “Really? That’s weird.”

me: “I know, but that’s how it’s said.”

her: “Why is that? Why not just spell it with a ‘ck’ instead?”

me: “Because then it wouldn’t be our name.”

her: “But it would be easier to say.”

If she were my child, I would simply say, “I know, but let’s play the game” and that would be the end of it. She would simply shrug and go on instead of debating spelling and pronunciation with me at 8:00 in the morning. I’m not ready to think that hard until at least 10:00.

Think about how much time I would save on inane phone calls and arguments with the lawn guy if only they would “play the game.”

I’m really not as dumb as I guess I must look and/or sound. Tired and distracted do not make me a complete idiot. They simply make me sound like one. I can’t help that, at least not today.

This is my new mission for the day. I’m going to teach my game to all the parents in the world so that they too can make an end run around their children’s arguments. Parents aren’t as completely clueless as our children seem to think. Disagree with me? It’s time for you to play the game.