Yeah…But Do You Get To Wear a Cool Hat?

A few months back I met a really nice woman who was a Wiccan Tree Priestess. Really. At least that’s what she told me she was. She could have been yanking my chain. I have no way of knowing. I admit to being a bit ignorant about pagan religious structure.

She was very nice, and very interesting to talk to about all kinds of stuff. Her perspective on things was wildly different from my own. I usually know where people are coming from, but I admit to being a bit thrown off by the whole “tree priestess” thing. Then she told me that not only is she a tree priestess, but it the High Tree Priestess for her area. I know I could have been evangelizing her, but I’ll admit that I’m such a girl that all I could think was, “High Tree Priestess….I’ll bet she gets a cool hat.”

I really want her to have a cool hat. I’m not sure why it’s important to me, but it is. I wonder about it and ask her every time I see her.

“Do you get to wear a hat? What does it look like?”

She just smiles and shakes her head at me, no doubt laughing at my woeful ignorance of all things tree priestess-y. I really do want to know.

I have this picture in my head of those tacky trees from the 80’s that everyone had in their home. You know the kind that were made out of twisty gold wire and dangly golden leaves. We never had one. My mom wasn’t that cool, but my neighbor did and I just knew it was the height of chic in interior design. That’s what I picture on her head. Twisty and shiny with sparkly leaves. I can see it so clearly. Her with this glorious tree on her head and long flowing robes the color of the season just gliding gracefully through the forest.

I’m probably way off and she just gets a beanie. She probably just wears jeans and walks around chanting. What a disappointment. Or maybe she communes with nature so much that she walks nude and unashamed through the trees. Probably not though. I think you can get arrested for that.

I just want her to have a hat, and I want it to be cool. What’s so wrong with that? Have you seen the tree priestess in your local woods? Does she have a hat? If she doesn’t. please don’t tell me. I don’t think I could bear the disappointment.