Shoved to Them
A facebook friend of mine recently touched off a firestorm of criticism when she wrote
“
When met with a maelstrom of negativity, she defended her position.
When I get flowers from my husband, he uses a flower shop and pays good money for a great design. That’s when it’s really sweet to get flowers.
And then again with:
To me it says “I only care about you enough for $5, rather than the best flower arrangement I can find.”
While her “friends” took her to task for her materialism, selfishness, and thoughtlessness (and I’ll admit that it was my first instinct to help pile it on); it raised some interesting questions for me as well.
How many times have I complained about the things my husband or children do to show that they love me because they don’t “live up to my standards”? I’m not talking about hundreds of dollars in flowers, but how often have I rolled my eyes at the 15th clumpy handful of dead weeds (“flowers”) I’ve had to scrape off of my kitchen counter where my 3 year old left them? How often have I been irritated when my husband asked what I wanted for my birthday because he should know these things?
How am I so different from the girl who wants to slap someone for bringing $5 flowers when I get slightly irked that my beloved can’t remember how I like my hamburger instead of being happy that he surprised me with lunch? There really is no difference between the two of us except that she’s willing to have her selfishness out for the whole world to see while I’m content to hide mine between a polite smile and a silent seethe.
We tell our children that it truly is the thought that counts, but we don’t truly live that. It sounds pretty to say, but the reality is that we (women especially) have these idyllic pictures in our heads of how the world should truly be. But none of it is real.
We didn’t marry actors who are reading from a script so as to always arrive at the perfect line which is flawlessly delivered…..and thank God for that! How would we ever live up to the perfection? Not to mention the fact that I think perfection might be a bit boring to live with.
I’d much rather spend my life with a husband who buys me a vacuum cleaner because it will save me time, or hides my presents in a maddening scavenger hunt because he likes the idea of being able to surprise me all day long, or brings me the cheap flowers because he saw them and they were pretty. Please, oh please, can I have sons who love me enough to rip the clover out of my yard and present me with the wilted greens, because girls like boys who bring them flowers?
Please God, remind me, in the midst of my own selfish moments, that even if the world may not see me, my loved ones do. May I always be worthy and appreciative of the love they show me in the thousand tiny ways that may not be what I’d wish for….but are certainly what I need.
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