Shoved to Them
We haven’t played “Random Mom Facts” in a while. For those of you who are new, one of these is completely made up and the others are sadly true. There are no prizes for being right, it’s just amusing to me to see what people think I will actually do.
1. While I’ve eaten all kinds of weird stuff like crickets and lamb eye balls, I’ve never eaten lobster. Absolutely true. I’ve had friends from a variety of cultural backgrounds who have treated me to ethnic cooking. Their cuisines never included expensive shellfish.
2. The Computer Guy and I didn’t announce our pregnancy with #1 until 2 weeks before she was born. We just kept waiting for me to show and it to be obvious. I didn’t show. It was awkward telling people. True. I’m so sorry to all of you who show early. #1 went straight up into my ribcage and never went very far out. We were reluctant to tell people because she was born a little too soon after the wedding.
3. One of my early childhood memories is of my dad running over a giant snake with our VW bus. It was he size of a speed bump. The snake was so long that we couldn’t see either end of it. It was the Philippines. The snakes are big there. True. Night time in the Philippines. The snake went from jungle on one side of the road into jungle on the other side.
4. My freshman year of college, I went to class in pig slippers at least twice a week. I also regularly had a green mud mask on my face in Trig. True. To be honest, the mud mask was worn to my trig study group immediately after class which was all girls. The thinking was that if we put on the masks we’d at least get clear skin out of the whole thing.
5. When I was living in California, I talked my way out of a traffic ticket by breaking out my twangiest Texas drawl and convincing the police officer that where I was from the traffic signs didn’t mean the same thing as they do in California.. True. Twangy Texan and a cute smile can get you out of a heap of trouble.
6. When I was 16, my parents gave me permission to paint my room black and white. That night, as they slept, I moved all the furniture out of my room, painted the whole thing, and had the furniture back in by the time they woke up in the morning. It went from girly pink flowers to modernist geometrics in less than 8 hours. True. My poor parents.
7. I once talked my way from a C to an A in poli sci, and then kept talking until the entire class got an A too. True. And to answer Lauren — I wasn’t the socialist the teacher was. The final, 60% of our final grade was comprised entirely of 200 opinion based questions. It took several hours, an encyclopedia, and the dean of the English department to prove that opinion questions can never truly be incorrectly answered. We all got perfect scores on the final. The professor never used that test again.
8. I once kissed a famous movie star. I’m not saying who, but it did “make my day.” Yup. I worked at an upscale hotel close to Pebble Beach. There were movie stars there all the time. I met Mr Eastwood, shook his hand and kissed his cheek. He’s just as nice in person as you’d hope.
9. I’m terrified of heights and went bungie jumping to get over that fear. It doesn’t work. Having someone push you off of a platform to your certain death doesn’t make the fear of heights go away. It makes you afraid of people on platforms. False. I never got pushed off a bungie platform. I’m scared of heights.
10. I once saved a small boy from drowning in a swimming pool. I just dove in and dragged him out. True. My younger brother. I think he might owe me a night or two of babysitting……
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