Shoved to Them
Although you wouldn’t know it from my inbox, I do not happen to be a feminist with Nigerian relatives trying to leave me millions of dollars, who needs money from Barack Obama to go to college, is worried about the Republican effort to kill health care, wants to see your naughty video or is in need of penile enhancement. How did I get on this list anyway?
Is there still anyone on the planet who gets their Viagra from an online pharmacy where “no doctor is needed”, who clicks through to meet “naughty, lonely housewives looking for a hookup”, or really believes they can get their PhD in 2 months of online night school?
I don’t believe that there are unclaimed government funds waiting for me to just fill out a form and pay a small fee (how many ways can you say audit?), or that my gay lover is just sitting there waiting for me to click on his profile. I’m not sure I’m what he’s looking for anyway.
As much as I’d love a last minute deal on a Caribbean vacation, I’d need a passport first. The secret to winning the lottery? Tell me how many times have you’ve won it first before I send you my credit card number. Sure, I’d love laser hair removal or magic diet pills or even a free tummy tuck. I just have to respond in the next 20 minutes? Which 20 minutes would that be? Their ad has been popping up all day.
I don’t get the purpose behind spam. I can’t believe anyone actually responds to any of the crazy things they promise. But if you’ve ever clicked through and ended up smarter, cuter, richer and better endowed, drop me a line and let me know how that’s working for you.
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