Thank all of you for your prayers, help, and advice about what’s ailing #4. We just got home from Children’s Hospital….that’s right, they sent us home. After running more tests (including many that y’all suggested), they found nothing. She’s completely strong and healthy unless she tries to stand up and then her legs collapse. That didn’t seem to be a factor. We saw two neurologists, a rheumatologist, and the ER doc who came to the conclusion that it’s all in... Read more

Scottish Rite has declined to see our girl (age 9) because what’s going on with her “doesn’t sound as if it’s related to her arthritis.” I have all kinds of thoughts about this, but I’m trying to clean up my language. Our family doctor ran blood tests which have all come back normal. We’re trying to figure out what to try next. (Our family doc is game for whatever we want to try.) This seems to be progressing very quickly,... Read more

The past few weeks have been hard. First with a crisis pregnancy, then the baby’s death and a week later miscarriage….and now #4 is worse. Her rheumatoid arthritis flared up a few months ago, eventually spreading to 14 joints in her legs and feet. The holiday of remission was over and we resumed her weekly shots and medications. A month in and she was down to only her left knee, foot, and ankle in flare…stubbornly so. Her knee is obviously... Read more

Two weeks ago, I took my eldest daughter to San Antonio to have her Senior pictures done by a dear friend who happens to be a brilliant photographer. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that my little baby is all grown up and will soon be off to college. When I look at her I mostly still see the goofy kid I love. This is the girl I see. The little girl, the funny girl….my baby. It’s funny how easy it... Read more

I sat tonight peeking through the curtains of my nine-year-old’s ballet class. Parents are only allowed inside twice during the year, and tonight was not one of those evenings. Most nights I sit quietly and read, enjoying a moment to myself. The past few weeks have been different. Her arthritis has returned and her left knee is once again in flare, and so now I watch her. I’m not sure what exactly it is that I think I will see….but I... Read more

Part of the fear of being pregnant again when you have medical complications and a prior history of loss is that you know how fragile new life truly is. The fear of having to go through yet another death can be overwhelming, especially when medical reasons make it a realistic possibility. Even though I was very aware that it could happen, it was heartbreaking to see that tragically still form on the ultrasound screen Friday morning. My fears have become... Read more

 **I’m baring my soul here. You can have strong feelings and even think I’m horrible, but please be kind.** I was so touched last week by the outpouring of congratulations and well-wishes for our newest baby. I also felt like a bit of a fraud. You see, there’s this facade that moms of large families often have to wear. We’re harshly judged by the culture around us, and even the slightest public hesitation of joy is a vulnerable chink in... Read more

Once upon a time, back when I was a 5th grader in a small Texas town, we had career day at our school. We all had to dress up as what we wanted to be when we grew up, and take turns standing on a stage in front of the whole school and saying what that was. Most of the girls in my class wanted to be teachers, and the boys were fighter pilots, police officers, or doctors. My best... Read more

On Friday, I gave you the chance to ask me anything you’d like to know, and I just hoped that you’d ask things for which I might actually have an answer. (And you did! Hooray!!!!) Here’s the questions you asked and my answers: 1. If you could be any superhero, which one and why?  American Maid from The Tick seemed like the obvious choice here – she cleans, she’s patriotic, she hits people with shoes   but I think I’m... Read more

As I’m lying here curled up in the fetal position trying not to think about how much I want to throw up or the fact that the term “morning sickness” is a cruel joke, I’m struggling to find a blog post topic that doesn’t begin and end with “throwing up is no fun,” and “I’ve done this way too many times.” It isn’t, and I have. Since the creative part of my brain has decided to go on vacation, this... Read more