“My God My God”: The Foundation of Forgiveness-Pt. 2

*Below is a portion of the sermon I preached Sunday in response to the terrorism that happened in Charleston, South Carolina at Emanuel AME Church.  Read part 1 here. 

In my previous post, I asked what if Jesus, by saying Father Forgive them, was showing us what to do when we can’t forgive the hurt and pain that others have caused in our lives? I argued thatwhat if Jesus, at that moment, knowing that forgiveness maybe is the right thing to do; it’s the right thing to pronounce; but as he was hanging on the cross and thinking about all that has been done to him in the name of religion; in the name of faith; in the name of ideology; in the name of the Empire, what if Jesus could not find a way to articulate forgiveness at that particular moment, but instead, what if he had to turn it over to God? In asking, maybe the first foundation of forgiveness is to acknowledge the fact that it’s hard and one should not rush to forgiveness too quickly.

But there is another part to this foundation—Jesus, while on the cross did not only say, Father forgive them, but he also yelled, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me. Jesus’ execution was not pretty; blood and sweat everywhere, folks laughing at you, your friends gone, and the authorities celebrating that fact that they solved another problem. Instead of suffering with dignity, instead of suffering with grace, instead of suffering quietly; instead of being the perfect paragon of respectability politics, Jesus on the cross yelled out, “My God My God, why have you forsaken me?”         

As the frustration sets in and the anger mounts, I hear somebody saying, “But they were at Bible Study, my God my God, why have you forsaken me? They welcomed the stranger, my God my God, why have you forsaken me? They were praying to you and studying your word, my God my God why have you forsaken me. I thought they were at a safe place, my God my God why have you forsaken me?” What if again, Jesus was teaching us that in order to get to the road of forgiveness, one of the first things one must do is to cry out to the Lord or just let out a lament!

In other words, what if to have authentic forgiveness, one first must get angry—because forgiveness is not forgetting; because in order to forgive, I must remember what you did to me. And while I think about what you did to me, when I think about the pain that you brought to me; when I think about the sadness you placed upon me; when I think about how you made me feel, I get downright angry and I want to yell and scream!

I think a good example of someone who tried to get on the road to forgiveness came in the form of Esaw Garner, the widow of Eric Gardner, the man who Officer Daniel Panteleo choked to death with cameras rolling. When a reporter asked her, just days after her husband’s murder, does she accept the officer’s condolences, remorse and apologies; she put her hands on her hip and said,

“Hell No! The time for remorse would have been when my husband was yelling to breathe. That would have been the time for him to show some type of remorse or some type of care for another human being’s life. When he was screaming 11 times, he can’t breathe. So there is nothing that him or his prayers or anything else will make me feel any different. No, I don’t accept his apology, no I can care less about his condolences, no I can care less. He is still working, he is still getting a check, he is still feeding his kids and my husband is six feet under and I am looking for a way to feed my kids now.”

Now for many, she was uncouth, she was out of order, she did not exhibit Christian values, and she was not respectable at that press conference, but one thing she was, she was real! And the way to get on the road to forgiveness is to get real with yourself and get real with God. And yes, sometimes that means raising your voice. Sometimes, that means crying aloud. Sometimes that means moaning and wailing loudly, and yes, sometimes its means not curse but cussing somebody or something out because something just is not right.

It’s not right for a racist shooter to tell you why he killed those folks and people still wondering why he did it. It’s not right, for little girls to get jacked up while trying to go to a pool party. It’s not right, for police officers under the guise that they fear for their life to shoot and kill black bodies and absolutely nothing happens to them. It is not right for a 12-year-old boy to be shot by police. It is not right for a man to be shot in the back, as he is not a threat and running away from the cop. And it is not right that the only way America may tolerate black people; show some empathy or sympathy, is if we act contrite and offer forgiveness for yet another tragedy, another shooting, another act of American terrorism that happened at the expense of black bodies!

We have a right to be angry, we have a right to lament, we have a right to cry out, we have a right to ask God to forgive or withhold our forgiveness when we are not yet ready to do so. And if anybody ask you why—just tell them Jesus cried out and Jesus asked God to forgive those folk and I am trying to be like him each and every day. I will get there, but not today. Not today, because my answer, in the words of the prophet Esaw Garner, “Hell No!”

Andre E. Johnson is the Managing Editor and Founder of R3