I’m Coming Home: My Journey to Catholicism

by Ruth Hull

First posted at Ruth Emily Writes.

My journey as a protestant:
I was born into an assembly of God church and at the age of 11, my family began attending a Cumberland Presbyterian church. We remained there. at the age of 14, my mind began to question everything. I was in a public High school, after years of home schooling, and my life had become saturated with people of all different spiritual walks. By 15, I had scene the joy of the Lord in others and sought out a way to acquire a spirit on fire for God.  I was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit on August 3rd of 2011. Through the remainder of high school, I led a “Youth Alive” group, actively participated in Apologetic classes and Doctrine of Man studies, by Paul Washer, taught at a local Southern Baptist Church. I also filled my bible with highlighter marks, pen scribbles, drawings, questions, references, dates, sticky notes and more. I January 1-5th of 2013 (my senior year), I attended the Passion Conference in Atlanta, GA (keep this conference in your back pocket, I’ll come back to it). I was on fire for the Lord and I led myself to believe that I had it all figured out, when it came to the direction God had set for my life.

Then college hit.
I asked the question, “Why do I believe this?”

Why am I identifying as a Cumberland Presbyterian? 
Why am I involved with the southern baptist ministry on campus?

I had to find the truth.

Searching for the “True Church” in the protestant faith: 
I began researching further into the foundational beliefs of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church, then the Southern Baptist, then Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, and more. After 3 semesters, and many different church visits, I found myself attending a Reformed Anglican church with a friend of mine in march of 2015. This was my first encounter with anything close to Catholicism. I sat in the back pew and followed along in their Common Book of Prayer. I watched as people knelt, sat, stood, and bowed for different portions of the service. I found the prayers beautiful and tightly bound by scripture. I watched as the priest would prepare communion for the congregation and I truly felt touched by the way this group of people worshiped.

“Why is this service different from a Presbyterian or baptist service?”
“They are so different, surely, one of them must be more right.”
“Why is each Protestant church different?”

I searched deeper. I looked at church history and was incredibly intrigued by the reformation (a concept often overlooked by basic education and students). In 1517, the protestant reformation formally beganwith Martin Luther’s 95 theses being posted on the Wittenburg Cathedral. In 1520, Luther wrote much and denied the authority of the pope to interpret or confirm the interpretation of the bible. from then on, there were executions, protests, and more which led to the birth of the Church of England, the Jesuit Order, Lutherans, and more. Different protestant denominations continue to arise and claim to have it all figured out.

This made me think of my church history. Cumberland Presbyterians were founded on February 4th 1810. “my church has only been around for a little over two hundred years?”  I continued to look at other churches and their history, then wondered, “The Catholic Church must have something right after being around for so long and surviving so much trials and tribulations.”

I let that thought linger in the back of my mind as I gathered small bits of information. I feared the Catholic Church. It was unknown territory.

“Those are the people that Worship Mary and pray to saints” 
“They don’t actually pray to God directly” 
“They can’t be Christian!”
“I don’t belong there.”

I prayed that God would help me to find his “True Church” time and time again. I wanted so badly to figure it out, because I was honestly becoming frustrated and discouraged. I questioned my faith on many occasions and felt lost.

Finding the Catholics:
At the end of August of 2015, Without prior knowledge of his religious affiliations, I met and went on a date with a Catholic man (Bret). It went well. Turns out, he was a student at my university and invited me to the Catholic Student Organization (CSO) House on campus. I was nervous.

“I’m a protestant.”
“I don’t belong there.”
“What am I getting myself into”

I agreed to tag along.

At the CSO, I met the people that were necessary so I could learn more about the Catholic faith. I had many conversations with the campus minister, priest, missionaries, and students. they were always available when I needed them.
Before long, Bret tricked (more of a “right place at the right time” scenario) me into my first mass at the CSO house.
This was a small service, like any college campus ministry would hold. It was simple and concise.
I was interested to see how a proper and fully equipped parish would hold mass.
I went to St. Michael’s on Summer Ave with Bret and his family.
I fell in love.
The service was stunningly rooted in scripture. From the acts of reverence, to the incense, to the presentation of Christ, to the prayers, I saw scripture everywhere!
I kept thinking “Play it cool Ruth.”
But my heart was screaming “I know that psalm! I know why you have a profession of faith, greetings of peace, memorial acclamations,etc…” 

“Ok Ruth, this changes things, but don’t let your emotions get caught up and make a hasty decision. you’ve got to think this through. You’ve got to KNOW that this is the true church.”

I was determined to learn all I could. I needed to know if this was where my Father was calling me to be. soon after that mass, I was meeting one-on-one with one of the missionaries each week to answer my questions about the Catholic faith, attending a bible study, and RCIA (the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes at a local Parish.

I was completely consuming every bit of information I could find and researching it to be sure that what I was being told was truth.

I was finding answers that were firmly grounded within scripture.
I was falling deeper and deeper in love with the Mass and learning to love my Father in a more intimate and satisfying way.
Throughout my journey, I found overwhelming scriptural evidence that led me to slowly lose grip of things I had always believed to be true, sola scriptura, communion as symbolic, and more.
Even as I gained this new knowledge, I still identified as Protestant and was not prepared to become Catholic.

Christmas Eve:
Everything Changed one evening when I returned to my parents’ Cumberland Presbyterian church for Christmas Eve service. At that service, I sat and watched the pastor, a dear friend, prepare the congregation to receive communion. As I watched him break the hawaiin sweet bread and present the grape juice, I was uncomfortably trying to justify it, but continued to remember John 6:22-70 and the presentation of Christ’s Body. I could not ignore the truth that I had discovered.

“This isn’t right”

The pastor called the congregation to the table of the Lord. I sat and watched my church family receive communion, when it cam time for me to join them, I had an overwhelming and distinct understanding:

“This Is not for you anymore.”

I remained in my pew and in that moment, realized that by not partaking in a communion I had received for 10 years, I had separated myself from my protestant faith, my church family, and my family and friends. My foundational beliefs were different.
I was overwhelmed and confused.

Student Leadership Summit:
January 1st of 2016 came quickly and I found myself on a bus with many other catholic college students, heading to Dallas, TX for a Catholic Conference.
I knew that this trip would change me.
It would be a turning point in my faith. 
I was incredibly excited, but incredibly fearful as well. I was trying so hard to hide my fear and uncertainty from my peers.

Throughout the first two days, I was attempting to hide my frustration and confusion.
I couldn’t help but remember that 3 years prior, to the day, I had been at a massive Protestant conference, Passion 2013. at the time, I thought I had my life figured out. I thought I knew exactly where the Lord was leading me. I thought I was home.
I wasn’t so sure anymore.
I felt as if I had been led on to believe I was home, only to be turned around because I was missing vital information. I felt misplaced.

“Why would you allow me to fall in love with you within the Protestant church, if you were just going to take it away?”
“Why would you give me a home only to force me out of it?” 

I was upset.
I was angry.
I was hurt.

That evening, I planned to skip the prayer hour before mass in the morning. I was tired, confused, frustrated, and simply did not feel like putting in the effort.
I set my alarm for 8:30 am.

My alarm went off at 7 am.
Then at 7:15.
I figured someone was trying to tell me something.
“Ok. Ok. I get it. I’m going”  

I got up and went to prayer.
“Daddy, I’m here. I was going to sleep through adoration, but you must have something very important to say to me…
“Father, am I doing the right thing by pursuing Catholicism? Is this where you desire me to be? Really, you have led me on such a roller coaster. I feel misled when I think of the years I spent falling in love with your beautiful spirit, as presented by the protestant faith. I feel as if you withheld your beautiful sacraments from me…
“I’m struggling to find any words Daddy. I’m sitting here, but I don’t know what to say…
“Maybe I should just listen.”

At that point, I opened my bible to Ephesians 3:14-21 because it was the first Lectio Divina in the 40 day challenge that each of the students were given. 
I was shocked.
This is the exact same verse that was used 3 years ago, to the day, at the Passion conference in Atlanta, GA.  
The exact same verse.

My heart sank and leaped and fluttered all at the same time.
This was amazing, not only was this the verse used 3 years prior, but it specifically speaks of Christ’s desire for us to know the fullness of the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that we may be filled with all the fullness of God.
I was blown away.
I cried and just thanked God for this. Jehovah-Jireh, You have provided me with exactly what I needed.
I knew in that moment, that I was exactly where God had willed me to be.

There were many other instances where this was reaffirmed throughout the conference, but this was definitely the most moving.

So, after everything that has happened, everything that I have learned, and everything that is to come, I want to announce that this Easter, I came home to the Catholic church.

Ruth Hull is a college student and mildly infatuated with all things quilt related. 

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