Respectability Politics ~ The Sexist Version

by Sharolyn Payton

We live in a society which abuses its girls and its women and then blames them for the abuse! I find this practice to be not only misogynistic, but unjust and unloving, both as a woman and a Christian.

We (society and especially the church) like to hold women accountable for, and even go so far as to “police” what they wear and how they wear it. We do this in hopes of “protecting” the beloved men of our society from potential “temptation or moral failure.” We choose this option, rather than to have a “conscious” and socially responsible conversation with both sexes about the need to respect, protect and care for one another, as human beings, first.

My personal belief is this. We give men permission to continue to self-soothe with “blaming” whenever we excuse them for oogling the 12 year old in her bathing suit, simply because she happens to be well developed for her age. We tell her to go cover herself up and leave her feeling confused and ashamed. But I digress, I’m sure this is what’s best for everyone’s sanity and safety. Perhaps she should just learn to swim fully dressed.

And we ALWAYS throw the “half naked” sister under the bus, you know, the one in the “short dress”…because we all know, she is a force to be reckoned with. We believe she has the power to “make” a man leave his FAMILY and even his FAITH. Never considering that if a short dress and bare legs is all it takes, he was looking for a reason to leave anyway!

I’m tired of these double standards, the blaming and the shaming! Let’s be honest with each other, let’s make an effort to be just, to honor and to hold each other accountable…

Sharolyn Payton is the Lead Coach at Payton Place. She specializes in life engagement strategies for individuals, businesses, and non-profit organizations.

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