I’m Voting for Obama and Romney. So Should You.

As a faithful Catholic in America, I’ll take my lead from our great shepherd in New York: Timothy Cardinal Dolan. He prayed at both conventions, so I guess I’ll vote for both candidates. More specifically, I’ll be voting for both candidates because I like different things about each of them and their respective platforms that intersect with my faith. Here are some of the highlights:

I am especially enthusiastic about Obama’s anti-war record. He gave that great speech that one time. He won the Nobel Peace Prize and ended the war in Afghanistan Iraq. Impressive stuff. He has also replaced war with more peaceful video games, using drones to kill the bad guys, saving lives we care about in the process. A man of peace. A true, faithful friend to the uncompromising anti-war bloc of the Democratic Party. His stance on immigration is also very humane and looks super duper on paper and in speeches. I know many people who were brought to the US out of desperation and in squalor when they were only one or two years old, are now enrolled in college, and are waiting for something to happen ASAP. Otherwise they’ll have no way to legally earn a living or go to graduate school. Obama will let them wait it out with optimism and hope. And hope is one of the three theological virtues.

Romney has serious Catholic credentials too — even though he’s a Mormon. He’s a throwback to the Grand Old Party aristocrats, and Catholics understand and appreciate aristocracies. His record on life issues is pretty great, recently, for the most part, with a few major/minor exceptions. But overall, he’s rock solid. We hope so. All the staunch, unwavering Catholic pro-lifers feel great about him. He also opposes Obamacare. This is crucial because the Church can handle all that stuff if the government would just leave us alone. I grew up dirt poor, in a family that worked for the Catholic Church and we had terrible healthcare and wages and whatnot, but if we didn’t have government programs like WIC and other help, we could always count on the rich people of the parish or the local diocese to bail us out. Romney really gets this. He gives lots of money to charity. So he’ll surely build lots of hospitals with all that money too and bring about a better, private form of healthcare reform.

These are just a few of the main reasons why I’ll be voting for both candidates. I could mention more, including things they share in common. Plus, they both picked Catholic running mates.

Dolan isn’t the only person praying for both of them. Most major donors give money to both parties, so they must be praying for them bi-partisanly too.

Catholics like to gamble. When I can play with two bingo cards, I always prefer my chances. If I can bet on red and blue at the political roulette table, like Dolan and big donors are doing, I will. That way, I’m sure to win either way.

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