16 Things That Happened When I Went to The Creation Museum

16 Things That Happened When I Went to The Creation Museum February 8, 2015

Back in December, my partner Abe and I went on a mini-vacation to the Creation Museum in Kentucky. We were able to do so because of the kindness of some friends (who let us spend the night at their apartment), and some generous donors who helped me raise the money for the tickets and gas. Special thanks to: Joe and Christy, our friends who let us sleep on their air mattress Anonymous (donor) Teresa Kingsbury (donor) Abe (for accompanying me even though I know he didn’t want to)

Without further ado, here are the 16 Things That Happened When Abe and I Went to the Creation Museum:

1. I wore my “I Kissed Patriarchy Goodbye” shirt (courtesy of Dianna Anderson

When you’re a progressive Christian feminist going to the Creation Museum, you wear your “I Kissed Patriarchy Goodbye” shirt. It’s what you do.

2. I learned right away that dragons are REAL. 

The first thing you learn when you walk into the Creation Museum is that dragons exist (or existed). Even before you buy your tickets you start seeing materials that want you to know that dragons are real and possibly hung out with cowboys. Also there are dragons in the Bible. Somewhere. Job probably. Also dragons are actually dinosaurs that coexisted with humans. And somehow this proves that evolution is false. And legends involving dragons, from Beowulf to random accounts from cowboys out west are based in fact probably. 10347628_10153096675182985_3967452626792676349_n 1555431_10153096646457985_5086261055987008256_n Daenerys Targaryen would be happy to learn all of this.

3. I discovered that velociraptors existed but it’s okay, because they were herbivores before Adam and Eve sinned. 

Those scary teeth and claws are just for eating leaves.

Especially if you are a LEAF!

10511293_10153096638772985_2752337243615060142_n In fact, before The Fall, there were no weeds, poisons, or anything else considered “bad” 10374480_10153096639522985_1332416727396730863_n 10847813_10153096639417985_7733401736298535609_n   10497033_10153096570642985_1375924337327866265_o

4. This. This happened. 


5. I found out that “God’s Word” is apparently threatened by a lot of things. 

10848527_10153096578467985_5874967886204792881_o Including, but not limited to: –Popular fiction 10862535_10153096578442985_8395356286394355377_o –Scientific theories 1548060_10153096597387985_6280457080280882496_o –“New” religions

Abe: “But the religion pictured there is older than Christianity…”

–Saddam Hussein 1498912_10153096597382985_7718008396767729046_o –This guy with a shovel? 10700766_10153096597392985_5014513901050547565_o

6. I met my cousin, Lucy (OR DID I?)

10714209_10153096578302985_9034863888249664512_o 10869697_10153096578462985_2187614341659939787_o

7. I found out that, according to the Creation Museum, a “fallen world” looks like graffiti in the inner city, people of color holding guns, and Muslims.

There are some racial implications here that I plan on talking about in another post… 10838272_10153096597557985_6285683731534227110_o   10849028_10153096597542985_7157909390304572078_o 10854373_10153096597537985_1383377119467059648_o 10700766_10153096597532985_8614465505945616217_o 8. 10862443_10153096597547985_3586448195040394745_o

8. I checked to see if Adam and Eve had genitals or butts (they didn’t)


9. I discovered that the Creation Museum isn’t just about debunking evolution: it’s also about promoting cis/heterosexism and complementarian gender roles

Who’s surprised though, really? 10849797_10153096636162985_5817094021871223744_n 10247332_10153096636037985_7893900395936107240_n Must be why the gift shop carried books like these:   10847864_10153096648797985_7825498884050600003_n

10. I met this Satan snake.

11. I found out that, thanks to the Satan snake, the world isn’t safe anymore.

10309029_10153096637047985_616519856013790442_n Proof the world isn’t safe: –Snarling Wolves   –Tornados. Also heroin. –This wrecking ball that says “Millions of Years” –Reproductive health (remember when I said that the Creation Museum has politic agendas beyond debunking evolution?)   –Bags of drugs. 1540369_10153096608237985_8368152821488164079_o (1) –Gossipy women. 10842342_10153096608232985_8812517417230306539_o

12. I learned some EXTREMELY BIBLICAL facts about how Noah took care of animal poop on the ark.


13. I refrained from buying these t-shirts at the gift shop.

9787_10153096648167985_6975973845348857195_n 10857938_10153096648627985_6973204357897861581_n

…too bad you won’t find any at the Creation Museum.

14. I found this Creationist homeschool curriculum

1560730_10153096648472985_873161203358519376_n Ages Pre-K to Adult. Start them while they’re young.

15. This pun. This pun happened.


16. I met this alpaca at the petting zoo. Undoubtably the best part of the trip.

This guy is proof of intelligent design. 10849828_10153096675432985_7845607860805807354_n 10850109_10153096675302985_6161656685884823094_n   That’s all for my trip to the Creation Museum! I hope you enjoyed it, or at least had a couple of laughs/groans. Stay tuned for the next few weeks, as I talk more in detail about some of the agendas that the museum is trying to push (outside of Young Earth Creationism).

*Nearly all images (with the exception of a selfie I took in my car) are from exhibits at the Creation Museum. Photos of the exhibits were taken by either me or Abraham Kobylanski. Photos were only of exhibits where photography and recording were allowed. 

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