The things that are saving our lives right now

To be from Southern Louisiana and endure the winters of Northern Michigan is to understand that hell is certainly cold and monochromatic and not a lake of fire. Can you point me in the direction of a lake of fire? Because I’d gladly dive in right about now.

A friend of mine sent me a link to this post at Modern Mrs. Darcy in a cautious effort to cheer me up (she knows how I feel about facile self-help—especially cheap gratitude). But it’s February in northeast lower Michigan, which is known even at the height of summer as “the Cold Beach,” and I’m willing try anything.

I found that reading about the little things that keep other people’s heads above water made me love my fellow humans a little more. 

As St. Teresa of Avila said while dancing with her castanets, “sometimes you have to make life bearable.”

Here are some of the things that are saving this Sick Pilgrim’s life this week:

1. These TED Talks about death.  Since David Bowie died with such artistic flair, I’ve been mulling over how one “makes a good death” in the Catholic sense. Did you know you could be buried in a mushroom suit that will speed your decomposition and neutralize the toxicity of your body to the earth? I feel like Pope Francis should have included this in his encyclical on the environment.

2. The Elena Ferrante Neapolitan Novels. I’ve been relishing every page of this mind-blowing four-book saga of two brilliant women, their complicated friendship, and their experiences growing up and growing old in an almost fantastical Naples built on the ruins of an ancient flaming garbage dump. In other words, Gehenna. Hell. That lake of fire I’ve been dreaming about.

3. Taking vitamins. There’s something encouragingly wholesome about taking numerous supplements every morning. It’s a hopeful act that must at least have a temporary placebo effect. Wait. Xanax is a vitamin, right?

4. The tanning salon. Someone once described my look as “Morticia Adams goes to J.Crew.” Despite my natural pallor, my spirit is southern and wilts without the sun like that geranium in E.T. For a small fee I can stand in a capsule of blinding light and heat for five minutes. If I could sneak in a beer in a plastic cup it would feel just like home.

5. Reading aloud to my kids and doing all the funny voices. Nothing takes me outside of my morose winter self like my kids, especially when I know they’re about to be asleep for eight to ten hours. For read-alouds we love Homer Price, The Twenty-One Balloons, The Father Brown Reader, and even now, at ten years old, my daughter loves to hear my Maisie bird from Horton Hatches the Egg (though I admit I choke up every time when I get to the end: “It should be, it should be, it should be like that, because Horton was faithful. He sat and he sat. He meant what he said and he said what he meant, and they sent him home happy, 100 percent” SOB.) When I’m too tired or depressed to read, we listen to Winnie the Pooh read by Stephen Fry and Judi Dench on Audible, which is delightfully British and captures all the absurd irony that the saccharine American versions destroy.

6. Other people’s prayers. Because when I just can’t, and I often can’t, I have to ask somebody to do it for me. I’m pretty sure other people’s prayers are how I’ve made it this far. It’s encouraging to know there’s a candle burning in someone else’s house for you.

What about you, Jonathan? What’s saving your life today?

Hmm, that’s an excellent question.  Let’s see . . .

1. Planning my epic road trip/pilgrimage to Utah with my three kids. I love the West and WILL live there someday. They will be seeing mountains for the first time, three national parks, the Great Salt Lake and hanging out with all of our Utah friends. Plus, we will be visiting a Benedictine monastery in Colorado, going to Palm Sunday mass in Moab, the Salt Lake City Cathedral and any other Catholic shrines we find along the way. As a single dad who only gets to see his kids twice a month due to my job being in another city, this trip is very important.

2.  Old episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Seriously, this show always makes me giggle and laugh when I don’t feel like it. I can’t wait for the new episodes.

3. Researching and writing a new novel. I write creepy shit. So, my research gets into some very strange areas and I love it. I’m reading outdoor survival books, stories of missing people in National Parks, and listening to podcasts about weird things. Speaking of podcasts . . .

4. New/old serial stories on podcasts. Oh. My. Awesome. There has been an explosion lately of audio storytelling in the form of serial podcasts. As someone who drives to and from St. Louis twice every month, I spend a lot of time in the car, so these are just perfect and not as monotonous as audio books. My two favorites so far are Limetown and The Black Tapes Podcast. And, I discovered a new weird stuff podcast called Astonishing Legends. The creepiest episode was on the Dalatov Pass incident. Seriously, it will keep you up for days.

5. Discovering cheap coffee that’s fair trade. Aldi, my new favorite grocery store, sells extremely tasty coffee that is cheap and not exploiting workers in South America. Everyone Wins.

6. Looking at tents so I can do a lot of solo/reflective camping/hiking this summer. I miss the woods. A lot.

7. Adoration. No, seriously. I can’t be accused of being overly pious, because I’ve never really done it before. I visit a convent in the South Side of South Bend that is utterly quiet and peaceful.

8.  Crio Bru. It’s liquid chocolate and good for you. Seriously.

 Tammy P., what gets you through a February day in Chicago?

1. Mad Potion by Katy Perry. Chanel No. 5 and Dolce & Gabana Blue Sky are way out of my (no) pay scale. Mad Potion is more affordable. I liked the name and the polka dots on the box, but when I sprayed it on a card, it was a little … overwhelming. But the next day when I pulled it out of my pocket IT SMELLED HEAVENLY. Mad Potion just needs some time to become what it is—a hint of musky vanilla that makes me happy when I put my nose in my shirt. Like Mary Katherine Gallagher did with her armpits.

2. Rats. Nothing lifts my spirit more than an animal sticking its whiskers in my nose. Unfortunately, I’ve lost count of how many hamsters have met their maker while in our care. My daughter has been begging for a new furry pet for a year but my husband would have none of it. The last six months I regaled him with reasons why I needed a therapy animal. ANY animal. I just needed a little warm body to snuggle with. On Christmas morning Mike sent us into another room to find our Christmas present. I almost cried when I saw the cage and the two rats inside. It was the best present I’d gotten in years, maybe ever. We named them Plusle (plus) and Minyan (minus) after two Pokemon. They were already tame and loved people. They are so ecstatic when I walk in the room. They fight over who gets to sniff me first. One is way more active than the other and requires a lot of supervision, but the white one, Plusle, is slightly calmer and will actually respond to you if you tell her “NO! DO NOT EAT MY CHOCOLATE!” She is extremely good-natured, in spite of Phoenix constantly licking her fur, even though we tell her, “DO NOT LICK THE RATS!” Plusle curls up next to me in the corner of the couch and performs an elaborate and energetic grooming regimen whenever she is with us. She is warm, and her feet are so soft and gentle. She nuzzles in my hand when I try to block her from sliding off the couch. She walks over me when I’m typing and gets in my grill just for fun.

What about you? What weird little things help you get through the day?