Which One’s Gilligan?

Which One’s Gilligan? December 7, 2012

Hi, I’m The Jerk.

Normally I review movies around here when I feel like it, but today I’d like to offer some commentary on the tackiest Catholic enterprise since they set up that Stepford village in Naples Florida. The Michael Voris Love Boat.

voris 3
Don’t forget the retreat part.

How could I? Americas favorite crusader against secretly gay bishops who only happen to be revealed as secretly gay when they disagree with Voris (can someone say closet case?) is planning a fun Caribbean cruise for all of his super-fans. Just Like RuPaul.

Copy Cat!
Copy Cat!

Oh, and Fr. Z will be tarnishing his reputation by being a featured guest on this cruise. Fun!

Fr. Z gotta eat.
Fr. Z gotta eat.

Seriously padre, Voris? This clown with the trump l’oeil is going to charge the suckers who watch him thousands of dollars for a “retreat” at sea. During Lent. That’s right. Thousand of dollars spent to go on a spiritual retreat on a cruise ship with casinos and all night buffets. For Lent.

Why didn’t Jesus think of something like this! The whole Easter thing would be way more fun if Lent was like one long Mardi Gras instead of this boring penance crap.

If only it were the Agony on the Lido Deck and then maybe the Mass would still be in Latin.
If only it were the Agony on the Lido Deck and then maybe the Mass would still be in Latin.

You know what’s going to happen? Through some scheduling mix-up they put the Voris boat on the same ship as the next RuPaul cruise.

If we're lucky!
If we’re lucky!

At that point it’s gonna play out like The Poseidon Adventure, with Voris leading a rag tag group of Traddies and Trannies through to safety.

Just better not be any Jews on the ship.
Just better not be any Jews on the ship.

Til next time, Keep it classy.


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