Which One’s Gilligan?

Which One’s Gilligan? December 7, 2012

Hi, I’m The Jerk.

Normally I review movies around here when I feel like it, but today I’d like to offer some commentary on the tackiest Catholic enterprise since they set up that Stepford village in Naples Florida. The Michael Voris Love Boat.

voris 3
Don’t forget the retreat part.

How could I? Americas favorite crusader against secretly gay bishops who only happen to be revealed as secretly gay when they disagree with Voris (can someone say closet case?) is planning a fun Caribbean cruise for all of his super-fans. Just Like RuPaul.

Copy Cat!
Copy Cat!

Oh, and Fr. Z will be tarnishing his reputation by being a featured guest on this cruise. Fun!

Fr. Z gotta eat.
Fr. Z gotta eat.

Seriously padre, Voris? This clown with the trump l’oeil is going to charge the suckers who watch him thousands of dollars for a “retreat” at sea. During Lent. That’s right. Thousand of dollars spent to go on a spiritual retreat on a cruise ship with casinos and all night buffets. For Lent.

Why didn’t Jesus think of something like this! The whole Easter thing would be way more fun if Lent was like one long Mardi Gras instead of this boring penance crap.

If only it were the Agony on the Lido Deck and then maybe the Mass would still be in Latin.
If only it were the Agony on the Lido Deck and then maybe the Mass would still be in Latin.

You know what’s going to happen? Through some scheduling mix-up they put the Voris boat on the same ship as the next RuPaul cruise.

If we're lucky!
If we’re lucky!

At that point it’s gonna play out like The Poseidon Adventure, with Voris leading a rag tag group of Traddies and Trannies through to safety.

Just better not be any Jews on the ship.
Just better not be any Jews on the ship.

Til next time, Keep it classy.


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18 responses to “Which One’s Gilligan?”

  1. I have to tell you something. When I saw your face, I thought you were one of the ugliest women I ever laid eyes on – and fat to boot. You truly have some nerve.

    • Oh boy, can I play too? Why does Carol McKinley wear makeup and perfume? Because she’s ugly and she smells bad! I love that joke.

      • I’m not going there pal.
        The ego has the power to drag other souls into the pit with it. You and Simcha can enjoy that pit yourselves.

        • ps – will Simcha be needing pictures of me to respond ‘in charity’? LOL. I probably have some doozies. If you go after my daughter in the picture I’ll mop the floor with you on the internet. My family is off limits.

    • Oh, and Carol, did you really call Pope Francis a maggot on your blog, and write “The man is a menace to the salvation of souls and we are in deep doodoo.”

      • Wow. Given I’ve been working since March to tell people to ignore the scandals the Pope is creating, “a maggot” – that is some wordsmything and misrepresentation. You really are a jerk. LOL.

  2. Jerk, your remarks are pure slander and libel. May you be rewarded according to your works if you don’t repent.

    • Jasper, I think you’re also Steve Dalton. Or StevenD Jasper? Maybe. You cares. You and Carol should go start your own blog. You can call it “Wegetmadat9montholdblogpostsandwealsohatethePopebecausewedonotunderstandtheology.com”

  3. Jasper and Stephen and Carol, in all Christian charity, I feel like I should remind you that the more people who read my blog, the more I get paid. So if you really wanted to stick it to me, you could just go away and never come back.

    • I am not trying to ‘stick it to ya’. This post is reprehensible. The man ran a retreat and to ridicule him for running a retreat you took aim at his looks. You have become a bully in the schoolyard. I merely pointed out if you possessed the beauty that launched a thousand ships, the jerks in the com boxes you are entertaining with this crap would have something to laugh at.

  4. Gee whiz, you forget your moderator password for a couple of days and everybody takes advantage.
    Here’s the deal, folks. This is my blog. This is my comment box. If you’re going to wander in and be obnoxious, then there is no particular reason I should keep you around. And yes, I get to say who’s obnoxious and who’s not, because it’s my blog and my comment box.