I feel so invalidated!!!

I feel so invalidated!!! May 1, 2014

I whined, you listened.

Jessica Carney started things off nicely with the plainly stated Simcha Is the Worst. A good effort, but I couldn’t help but notice she spelled my last name “F-i-s-h-e-r,” which is how it is spelled. People who truly hate me never spell my name right. My current theories on this are that (a) they are so blinded by my outrageous claims that, for instance, Francis hasn’t definitively identified himself as the Demon Pazuzu, that they can’t see they keyboard properly, or (b) they have some vague awareness that I am one of them furriners, so all my names must have some extra letters in there somewhere.

Then Katrina Fernandez obligingly waded into to murkey waters of Change.org and launched a petition: Simcha Fisher Stop Wearing and Promoting Ugly Footwear.

It’s like she hates beautiful things. You know who likes beautiful things?

Baby Jesus, that’s who!

Persuasive! That is some rock solid crazy person reasoning, but I would have found it more compelling if, instead of “sincerely” as a valediction, the letter that demands an end to my wicknesness had ended with “in His name” or “currently being washed in the Precious Blood of the Most Holy Lamb; hope you are same” or something like that.  And now I have to go find out what the hell “kitten heel pumps” are.

So I was feeling pretty good about the levels of outrage my existence is generating.

But then this new planet swam into my ken: Your Wrong Simcha Fisher. There is actually nothing I can say that will prepare you for this . . . whatever it is. If you read one thing today, make it be this. And then go lie down for a while.

 

 

 


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  • I couldn’t edit the “sincerely” because believe me if I could…

  • mithril1971

    no…. please tell me that blog is being typed from inside a padded cell on a word processor without “spell” and “grammar” check. What an amazing way to gain a following and validate oneself 🙂

    • No, this is a person for whom computer software reached its pinnacle in 1977, shortly after the vi text editor was introduced, and long before any graphical user interface, or even DOS. This guy even takes time to complain that Notepad is hard to use in comparison to vi. In other words, an EPIC crank.

  • CW Betts

    “Ace” is obviously a madman or an imbecile, for only one of those two could possibly confuse Bruce Campbell (star of Army of Darkness) with Bruce Willis (star of Moonlighting and Die Hard). So, how does it feel to be the object of derision of a raving lunatic?

  • Kayla P.

    Ace had me at the incorrect use of “Your” <3

  • Dan F.

    Ace is like the Jerk’s idiot brother. 😉

  • Sarah Pierzchala

    I wasn’t fooled. You wrote that yourself to get sympathy, and maybe to convince your husband you have stalker so he’ll buy an alarm system. Or possibly another dog.

  • Tom

    I can’t believe you’d stoop so low to singing a heretical song from that awful homosexualist movie Frozen to bribe your offal readers. Let It Go? Let cultural Marxism go.

  • My goodness

  • Heather

    But no one on your hate sites has pointed out your most egregious failing: that you are unable to shirt.

  • Blobee

    I thought you were dead. (:-)

  • Erin Evans

    I would have read it but his “website” is so blindingly ugly that even if the content made sense I couldn’t take his straight out of the 90’s “design” seriously. ewww.

  • Jen

    Oh, Simcha — how could you not know that “Shakespere” is about people talking and being Catholic? [Shakes my head sadly]. And you call yourself an educated woman…