10 rules while I’m in Wichita

10 rules while I’m in Wichita August 7, 2015

kids on pier

Far from this opera for evermore. Actually just for the weekend, for the Midwest Catholic Family Conference!

 My kids have been extra, extra squirrelly the last few days, and I’ve had to make a few new rules, which I can only hope they will abide by while I am gone:

  • No spreading peanut butter on balloons.
  • No snapping while saying the rosary.
  • No sucking on the dog’s tail.
  • No more calling Donald Trump.
  • No propping ladders against the house to spy on your brothers while they do . . . whatever it is they do in their room.
  • No more saying, “Or IS it?!?” every time I say something is something.
  • No putting the gerbil in the Cheerios box while you’re cleaning out his cage. At least not until everyone’s done with breakfast.
  • No taunting, harassing, or otherwise impeding the progress of people learning how to use nasal spray.
  • Seriously, no more calling Donald Trump, you guys.

And the greatest of these is:

  • No singing Mulan songs in the voice of William Shatner.

These are, of course, rules for my kids, but you might want to consider adopting them for yourself. Also, no opening an email to me with “Attached you will find a copy of Heaven and Hell by Swedenborg (original text in Latin, translated to English)” in lieu of the customary: “Howdy! Attached you will find a copy of Heaven and Hell by Swedenborg (original text in Latin, translated to English).”

Manners, manners!

Hope to see some of you in Wichita! And I would be so grateful for prayers for easy travel, and for an easy time for my husband back home, who will have all ten kids, and their snapping, and their peanut butter balloons.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Igotfreshmilk

    I don’t understand why we can’t put peanut butter on balloons! I never wanted to before you told me not to, but now I want to!

  • Anna

    Does snapping mean speaking angrily or snapping fingers, like to the rhythm of the prayers? Just curious. . .

  • I whole-heartedly approve the TARDIS outfit. Enjoy your time here in Kansas! If you haven’t ever been while you are in Wichita, make sure you visit the Nifty Nuthouse downtown. It’s a huge candy store. Though, you may hold off on giving it to them until you make it home!

  • I got to come to your talk and I’m so glad it. Great work.

  • sarah

    this is so awesome… and may I add
    no more filling your brothers socks with sand and declaring it a big fish.
    no more techno music while doing the dishes. too much mopping up afterwards.
    no more hiding in the neighbours letterbox.
    no more telling your brother he can only be a platypus if he wants to join the game. platypus or nothing. (apparently the dumbest animal you can be?)

  • JoAnn

    What a beautiful family you have!

  • Deimos

    No palace coups whilst I’m out.
    A strict limit on arming the dogs.
    We are catholic not fire worshippers, flame throwers are not toys.