A couple of people have asked why we’re not home schooling any more. We will be, a little bit — my six-year-old son will be at home for first grade, and my four-year-old daughter keeps handing me notes composed of random letters, in a pathetic plea to be taught how to read and write. And of course we’ll keep our feral three-year-old, whom no school can hold, and the smartest baby in the world (16 months old), who is not... Read more
Dear everyone, Well, I did it again. I thought the joke was really obvious, but it turns out that it was just me being a big weirdo again. I hope no one was offended, disgusted, or, you know, weirded out. The poem in this morning’s post was made up of search terms for my blog. Each line was an exact quote of a phrase that someone entered into a search engine, and then ended up at my blog. “Hallie Lord... Read more
Hamburger Washer Sleep Blog, Or: Will Okra Slime Hurt Me? . . . Mad Jesus Laughing Jesus people choking Jew site . Snappy kid talk What is spillcock baby powder help with lice . I have sit I must sit down Ha ha suckers toilets blog . Mark Shea butter football baby shower old wise tales . How to wet sitting down Sit down joke I need sit down . frog brothers pasty vampires Hallie Lord the jerk .... Read more
So I was sitting there, refusing to get up. My six-year-old wanted a glass instead of a cup, the eight-year-old kept doing his evil laugh even though it makes him throw up, and the four-year-old wanted to tell me a story about how first, see, she forgot to flush, but then she suddenly remembered to flush, but then. . . And remember, I have five other kids, too. My husband is back at work after eight months of unemployment (and... Read more
Hi, I’m the Jerk. You may remember me from that time I got banned from Inside Catholic. Or you might remember me from that ugliness in the Faith & Family Com Box. (I used to live in Florida. Long story.) Or you might be thinking about the time Hallie Lord‘s husband beat the snot out of me. (I know I’ve been thinking about that as we more forward with the discovery phase of the trial, Hallie.) No matter. You’re here ... Read more
My talented brother Joe is launching his new business: Blue Times Blue Web Design, Web Development, and Logo Creation. Check it out! Nice work, fair prices, and such a nice young man. In the meantime, he started driving a taxi to bring in some cash. He sent us this list of memorable quotes from his first day driving: (1) At the intersection of 27th Avenue and Indian School: “Ooh. Ooh. Come on, light. Come on, light, turn. I do not... Read more
Oops, I forgot to tell you that today I’m at Faith and Family Live, dishing out more advice: From Home School to the Classroom: Tips for Transition Come and get it while it’s hot! I don’t know what that means. Read more
Our alarm clock finally just went fatally berzerk. It already had some issues, but yesterday it started advancing a minute for every actual second that passes. This is a disconcerting but accurate depiction of the way our summer is going. Happily, it gives me an excuse to buy a new clock. I hate this clock. Someone gave it to us, back when we got caught in the wrong end of a current of well-meaning charity from a group of elderly... Read more
A few years ago, I wrote a lighthearted piece about NFP. It’s an emotional, divisive topic, so I like to be frivolous about it once in a while. One woman responded with gratitude, and mentioned in passing that she had been married for six years and had no children. Within minutes, another woman leaped in to sneer: “Well that kind of says it all doesn’t it. Good news- your marriage may not even be valid so if you ever want... Read more
That title doesn’t make any sense, but at least it doesn’t have a typo, which my original entry on Inside Catholic did (yeah yeah, I fixed it). Check it out, and thanks to always-alert Sarah Breisch for the idea. Seriously: is this any way to say “good morning,” even in Russian? Read more
I Have to Sit Down
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